which a man nearly always wears in his sleep, frequently
takes off and never puts on again?
His beard.

[Illustration: Man with Huge Beard infested with Birds.]

This nice looking man with a beard,
Remarked, "It's just as I feared;
Four larks and a hen, two owls and a wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard."

What is that which has neither flesh nor bone, and yet has four
fingers and a thumb?
A glove.

Why are ladies' dresses about the waist like a meeting?
Because there is a gathering there, and sometimes a good deal of
bustle.

How does a well-fitting bonnet lose its identity?
Because it "becomes" the lady who wears it.

What is the sweetest thing in bonnets this season?
The ladies' faces.

Why is a kiss like a rumour?
Because it goes from mouth to mouth.

What is the difference between an accepted and rejected lover?
The one kisses his misses, and the other misses his kisses.

Why are pretty girls like fire-works?
Because they soon go off.

Why are good resolutions like fainting ladies?
Because they want carrying out.

Why are lovers like apples?
Because they are often paired (pared).

Why is first love like a potato?
Because it shoots from the eyes and becomes all the less by pairing
(paring).

Which age do most girls wish to attain?
Marri-age.

What kind of men do women like best?
Husband-men.

What ties two people together, yet touches one?
A wedding ring.

Why should a man never marry a woman named Ellen?
Because by doing so he rings his own Nell (knell).

Why is the bridegroom more expensive than the bride?
Because the bride is given away, while the bridegroom is usually
sold.

Why are ladies like bells?
Because you seldom know what metal they are made of till you ring
them.

What money lasts longest when you get it?
Matrimony.

Why is matrimony like a besieged city?
Because those who are in it wish to be out, and those who are out
wish to be in.

Why are some women like facts?
Because they are stubborn things.

Why are rough seats like domineering wives?
Because they wear the breeches.

Why are husband and wife ten, instead of one?
Because the wife is number one and the husband goes for nought.

Why was the Archbishop of Canterbury like the late Prince Consort?
Because he married the Queen.

Why is a nugget of gold found at Bendigo like the Prince of Wales?
Because it is the produce of Victoria