built a balloon,
To examine the moon,
That deluded old woman of Prague.

There was an old woman of Hull,
Who was chased by a virulent bull;
But she seized on a spade,
And called out "Who's afraid?"
Which distracted that virulent bull.

There was an old lady of Poole,
Whose soup was excessively cool;
So she put it to boil,
By the aid of some oil,
That ingenious old lady of Poole.

There was an old lady of Burton,
Whose answers were rather uncertain;
When they said "How d'ye do?"
She replied "Who are you?"
That distressing old person of Burton.

There was an old lady of Lucca,
Whose lovers completely forsook her;
She ran up a tree,
And said "Fiddle-de-dee!"
Which embarrassed the people of Lucca.

There was an old woman of Norwich,
Who lived on nothing but porridge;
Parading the town,
She turned cloak into gown,
That thrifty old woman of Norwich.

There was an old woman of Leeds,
Who spent all her time in good deeds;
She worked for the poor,
Till her fingers were sore,
That pious old woman of Leeds.

There was an old woman in Surrey,
Who was morn, noon, and night in a hurry;
Called her husband a fool,
Drove the children to school,
That worrying old woman in Surrey.

There was an old lady whose bonnet
Came untied when the birds sat upon it;
But she said "I don't care!
All the birds in the air
Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!"

There was an old lady whose nose
Was so long that it reached to her toes;
So she hired an old lady,
Whose conduct was steady,
To carry that wonderful nose.

There was an old lady whose chin
Resembled the point of a pin;
So she had it made sharp,
And purchased a harp,
On which to play tunes with her chin.

There was an old lady whose eyes,
Were unique as to colour and size;
When she opened them wide,
People all turned aside,
And started away in surprise.

There was a young lady of Hexham,
Contradicted her friends just to vex 'em;
She talked about horses,
And rode on racecourses,
This forward young lady of Hexham.

[Page 109--Strange History of Twenty-Six Funny Women]

Strange History of Twenty-Six Funny Women

Angelina Armstrong Abruptly Asked an Advertising Agent About an
Alliterating Advertisement Appearing, Announcing An Astonishing,
Admirable, Attractive, Agreeable, Artistic, A