hats patent waterproof, bird-seed and
jewellery, tea and coffee pots, and shoes of the newest fashion. Ladies
and gentlemen, do you want a good tea or coffee pot? Partiklar jam,
_they_ are, I reckon. Well, Aby Sparks said to me, 'Jared Bundle,' says
he, 'leave me a dozen boxes or phials, whichever you like, of your
Palmyra sarve. Wonderful stuff that!' says he. 'What!' says I, 'leave
you some of my Palmyra sarve! You're jist right to say it ain't common
apothecaries' stuff; that it certainly ain't. But what would the ladies
and gentlemen on the lower Mississippi say, if I left any of it here?
It's all meant for them,' says I; 'they're my best customers.'"

"Soft sawder! Jared Bundle," grunted a Kentuckian.

"Cart grease and cobbler's wax," said a man of Illinois.

"He's from the north," laughed a third, "where there's more wooden
clocks than cows and calves."

"Where the grasshoppers break their legs in jumpin' from one potato heap
to another," interposed a fourth.

"Where the robins starve in harvest time, and the mockin'-bird is too
hungry to mock," cried a fifth.

"Nothin' in the world like Jared Bundle's 'intment," continued the
imperturbable Yankee. "Finest thing possible for corns. Ain't genteel to
talk of such things, ladies and gentlemen; but if any of you have got
corns, rub 'em just two or three times with the Palmyra sarve, and
they'll disappear like snow in sunshine. Worth any money against tan and
freckles. You, miss," cried he to Louise, "you ain't got any freckles,
but you may very likely git 'em. A plaster on each cheek afore you go to
bed--git up in the mornin', not a freckle left--all lilies and roses!"

"Hold your impudent tongue!" said I, "or I will plaster you."

"We're in a free country," was the answer; "free to sell and free to
buy. Gentlemen," continued Mr Bundle, "famous stuff for razor-strops.
Rub a little on, draw the razor a couple of times over it--shave. Razor
runs over the face like a steam-carriage along a railroad, you don't
know how; beard disappears like grass before the sickle, or a regiment
of Britishers before Yankee rifles. Great vartue in the sarve--uncommon
vartue! Ma'am!" cried he to a lady who, like ourselves, was looking on
from a short distance at this farcical scene, "Ma'am!"

I looked round at the lady. "Bless my soul! Mrs Dobleton and the Misses
Dobleton from Concordia, my neighbours on the Mississippi. Delighted to
see you, Mrs Dobleton; allow me the honour of i