thers beer mugs and
chairs, and others swore there had been no fight at all. However, fight
or no fight, the testimony was straightforward and uniform on one point,
at any rate, and that was, that the fuss was about two dollars and forty
cents, which one party owed the other, but after all, it was impossible
to find out which was the debtor and which the creditor.

After the witnesses had all been heard, his Honor, Judge Sheperd,
observed that the evidence in this case resembled, in a great many
points, the evidence before him in some thirty-five cases every day, on
an average. He then said he would continue the case, to afford the
parties an opportunity of procuring more testimony.

(I have been keeping an eye on the Police Court for the last few days.
Two friends of mine had business there, on account of assault and
battery concerning Washoe stocks, and I felt interested, of course.) I
never knew their names were James Johnson and John Ward, though, until I
heard them answer to them in that court. When James Johnson was called,
one of these young men said to the other: "That's you, my boy." "No,"
was the reply, "it's you--my name's John Ward--see, I've got it written
here on a card." Consequently, the first speaker sung out, "Here!" and
it was all right. As I was saying, I have been keeping an eye on that
court, and I have arrived at the conclusion that the office of Police
Judge is a profitable and a comfortable thing to have, but then, as the
English hunter said about fighting tigers in India under a shortness of
ammunition, "It has its little drawbacks." Hearing testimony must be
worrying to a Police Judge sometimes, when he is in his right mind. I
would rather be secretary to a wealthy mining company, and have nothing
to do but advertise the assessments and collect them in carefully, and
go along quiet and upright, and be one of the noblest works of God, and
never gobble a dollar that didn't belong to me--all just as those
fellows do, you know. (Oh, I have no talent for sarcasm, it isn't
likely.) But I trespass.

Now, with every confidence in the instinctive candor and fair dealing of
my race, I submit the testimony in the case of Smith vs. Jones to the
people, without comment or argument, well satisfied that after a perusal
of it, their judgment will be as righteous as it is final and impartial,
and that whether Smith be cast out and Jones exalted, or Jones cast out
and Smith exalted, the decision will be a hol