p that he dropped his horn
And thought no more of the cows in the corn.

Our sorrows are many, our pleasures are few;
O moment propitious! What could a man do?
He kissed the wee lassie, that Little Boy Blue!

At the smack the woolies stood all in a row,
And whispered each other, "We're clearly _de trop_;
Such conduct is perfectly shocking--let's go!"

"FESTINA LENTE"

BY ROBERT J. BURDETTE

Blessings on thee, little man,
Hasten slowly as you can;
Loiter nimbly on your tramp
With the ten-cent speedy stamp.
Thou art "boss"; the business man
Postals writes for thee to scan;
And the man who writes, "With speed,"
Gets it--in his mind--indeed.

Lo, the man who penned the note
Wasted ten cents when he wrote;
And the maid for it will wait
At the window, by the gate,
In the doorway, down the street,
List'ning for thy footsteps fleet.
But her cheek will flush and pale,
Till it comes next day by mail,
With thine own indorsement neat--
"No such number on the street."
Oh, if words could but destroy,
Thou wouldst perish, truthful boy!

Oh, for boyhood's easy way--
Messenger who sleeps all day,
Or, from rise to set of sun,
Reads "The Terror" on the run.

For your sport, the band goes by;
For your perch, the lamp post high;
For your pleasure, on the street
Dogs are fighting, drums are beat;
For your sake, the boyish fray,
Organ grinder, run-away;
Trucks for your convenience are;
For your ease, the bob-tail car;
Every time and everywhere
You're not wanted, you are there.
Dawdling, whistling, loit'ring scamp,
Seest thou this ten-cent stamp?
Stay thou not for book or toy--
Vamos! Fly! Skedaddle, boy!

THE GENIAL IDIOT DISCUSSES LEAP YEAR

BY JOHN KENDRICK BANGS

"If I were a woman," said the Idiot, "I think that unless I had an
affidavit from the man, sworn to before a notary and duly signed and
sealed, stating that he did the proposing, I should decline to marry, or
announce my engagement to be married in Leap Year. It is one of the
drawbacks which the special privilege of Leap Year confers upon women
that it puts them under suspicion of having done the courting if the
thing comes out during the year."

"Don't you worry about that," laughed Mrs. Pedagog. "You can go through
this country with a fine tooth comb and I'll wager you you won't find a
woman anywhere who avails herself of the privilege who w