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tead, a question was thrown furiously over our heads. "Where is he? What bristling and baseless egomania sways him to affront the _Daily Intelligencer_ with his contumacious and indecent unpunctuality?" "Who, chief?" asked Gootes. Le ffacase ignored him. "When this great newspaper condescends to shed the light of acceptance, to say nothing of an obese and taxable paycheck, upon the gross corpus of an illiterate moviecameraman, a false Daguerre, a spurious Steichen, a dubious Eisenstein, it has a right to expect a return for the goods showered upon such a deceitful sluggard." Still ignoring Gootes, he turned to me, and apparently putting the berated one from his mind, went on with comparative mildness: "Weener, an unparalleled experience is to fall to your lot. You have not achieved this opportunity through any excellence of your own, for I must say, after lengthy contact, no vestige of merit in you is perceptible either to the nude eye or through an ultramicroscope. Nevertheless, by pure unhappy chance you are the property of the _Intelligencer_, and as such this illustrious organ intends to confer upon you the signal honor of being a Columbus, a Van Diemen, an Amundsen. You, Weener, in your unworthy person, shall be the first man to set foot upon a virgin land." This speech being no more comprehensible to me than his excoriation of an unknown individual, I could only stay silent and try to look appreciative. "Yes, Weener, you; some refugee from the busy newsroom of the Zwingle (Iowa) _Weekly Patriot_," a disdainful handwave referred this description to Gootes; "some miserable castoff from a fourthrate quickie studio masquerading as a newscameraman; and a party of sheep--perhaps I could simplify my whole sentence by saying merely a party of bloody sheep--will be landed by parachute on top of the grass this very afternoon." He smacked his lips. "I can see tomorrow's bannerline now: 'Agent of Destruction Views Handiwork.' Should you chance to survive, your ghostwritten impressions--for which we pay too high a price, far too high a price--will become doubly valuable. Should you come, as I confidently expect, to a logical conclusion, the _Intelligencer_ will supply a suitable obituary. Now get the bloody hell out of here and either let me see you never again, or as a triumphant Balboa who has sat, if not upon a peak in Darien, at least upon something more important than your own backside." _23._ The inside
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