* *

[Illustration: _Customer._ "I SEE CORONODORAS ARE GOING TO BE FIVE
SHILLINGS EACH NOW."

_Barber's Assistant._ "WELL, WE SHALL 'AVE TO SMOKE 'EM NEARER THE END,
THAT'S ALL."]

* * * * *

HIGH-BROWS, LTD.

Whenever we spend a week in London we never seem to find time for the
things we really want to do. After dinner, on our last night at home, I say
to Angela, "Let's see--have we any engagements this trip?"

And Angela answers, "Don't you remember? We're dining with the Hewetsons on
Thursday, and on Saturday the Etheridges are taking us to a symphony
concert. Then there's your sister."

"Oh, ring her up, and suggest we come to dinner on Sunday. We don't want to
waste a proper night on Nellie."

"All right. That leaves us four evenings for ourselves. I suppose you want
to see the Quartermasters' Exhibition at Olympia?"

"What's that?"

"I can't think which part of the newspapers you read. Why, they've had
columns and columns about it."

"Ah, that's how I missed it. I only look at the 'late news.' It seems a
waste of time to read the rest."

"Well, it's an exhibition showing the wonderful work done by Quartermasters
in the War. There are Quartermasters checking stores----"

"Are they shown wondering where they ought to stand on a battalion parade?"

"I don't know about that; but we see them indenting for coal----"

"And regretting their inability to issue same?"

"Very likely. Anyhow, everything is arranged practically under the actual
conditions. The exhibition started in an Army hut in St. James's Park, but
proved such a success it had to be moved to Olympia. Why, Mr. CHURCHILL was
there one day this week."

"Did he make a speech?"

"He either made a speech or left by a side-door. I can't remember now, but
I know he was there."

"Why can't we go in the afternoon?"

"They say it's better at night, because the whole place is lit up by
hurricane lanterns and looks like fairyland."

"Oh, very well. That leaves us three evenings. We----"

"There's this French season at the Central. The papers say that no one who
appreciates good acting can afford to miss that. It's packed, I believe....
Besides, one finds one's French comes back very easily. By the end of the
evening I can generally follow most of what they say."

"H'm. We shan't be able to see ROBEY and BERRY and GRAVES and LESLIE HENSON
and DELYSIA in two nights."

"No-o.... Besides, everybody sa