an' sweethearts an' all,
Haul away, all the way, haul away, haul!")

C. F. S.

* * * * *

A Political Prodigy.

"Mr. Runciman is one of the coming men in British politics. As
statesmen go, he is a young man. He is just under 5."

_Provincial Paper._

* * * * *

From a recent novel:--

"... had bought the long-uninhabited farmhouse ... and was converting
it into a little _ventre-a-terre_ for his widowed mother."

It looks as if the old lady intended to go the pace.

* * * * *

"COOK-GENERAL Wanted; all nights out; piano, well furnished sitting
room; month's holiday with wages each year; three days off per week;
washing sent out; wage, one guinea per week."

_Northumbrian Paper._

With another three days off and the cooking put out as well as the washing,
the Cook-General's Union would, we understand, be almost disposed to
recommend the situation to the notice of their less experienced members.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE RECKONING.

GERMANY. "YOU REMEMBER ME? I MADE THIS MY HEADQUARTERS SOME TIME AGO--BUT
HAD TO LEAVE RATHER HURRIEDLY."

BELGIUM. "I'VE NOT FORGOTTEN. I'VE KEPT YOUR BILL FOR YOU."

[A Conference of the Allies, to which representatives of Germany have
been invited, is to be held at Spa, the late G.H.Q. of the German
Army.]]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

_Monday, April 26th._--Among the many Members of the House who have held
His Majesty's commission there are, no doubt, some rather eccentric
persons, but that hardly justified Mr. PALMER in suggesting that they
should be deprived in debate of the customary prefix "gallant." The SPEAKER
gave no encouragement to the idea, and was still more shocked by Mr.
DEVLIN'S proposal that all these courteous expressions should be dropped,
and that Members should "call each other by own names." It would certainly
add to the pungency but not to the peacefulness of debate if the
Nationalist Leader were allowed to refer to "Sir EDWAR-R-D CAR-R-SON,"
instead of to "the right honourable gentleman the Member for Duncair-r-n."

At Question-time Lord ROBERT CECIL was informed that a report on the state
of Ireland was being prepared and would shortly be circulated. But a
further crop of outrages so moved him that he could not wa