seek what to say that is not too little nor too
much. I would fain let you see that I am extremely sensible of your
affliction, that I would lay down my life to redeem you from it, but
that's a mean expression; my life is of so little value that I will not
mention it. No, let it be rather what, in earnest, if I can tell
anything I have left that is considerable enough to expose for it, it
must be that small reputation I have amongst my friends, that's all my
wealth, and that I could part with to restore you to that quiet you
lived in when I first knew you. But, on the other side, I would not give
you hopes of that I cannot do. If I loved you less I would allow you to
be the same person to me, and I would be the same to you as heretofore.
But to deal freely with you, that were to betray myself, and I find that
my passion would quickly be my master again if I gave it any liberty. I
am not secure that it would not make me do the most extravagant things
in the world, and I shall be forced to keep a continual war alive with
it as long as there are any remainders of it left;--I think I might as
well have said as long as I lived. Why should you give yourself over so
unreasonably to it? Good God! no woman breathing can deserve half the
trouble you give yourself. If I were yours from this minute I could not
recompense what you have suffered from the violence of your passion,
though I were all that you can imagine me, when, God knows, I am an
inconsiderable person, born to a thousand misfortunes, which have taken
away all sense of anything else from me, and left me a walking misery
only. I do from my soul forgive you all the injuries your passion has
done me, though, let me tell you, I was much more at my ease whilst I
was angry. Scorn and despite would have cured me in some reasonable
time, which I despair of now. However, I am not displeased with it, and,
if it may be of any advantage to you, I shall not consider myself in it;
but let me beg, then, that you will leave off those dismal thoughts. I
tremble at the desperate things you say in your letter; for the love of
God, consider seriously with yourself what can enter into comparison
with the safety of your soul. Are a thousand women, or ten thousand
worlds, worth it? No, you cannot have so little reason left as you
pretend, nor so little religion. For God's sake let us not neglect what
can only make us happy for trifles. If God had seen it fit to have
satisfied our desires we s