up my letter,
and I durst not but make an excuse for another short one, after you have
chid me so for those you have received already; indeed, I could not help
it, nor cannot now, but if that will satisfy I can assure you I shall
make a much better wife than I do a husband, if I ever am one. _Pardon,
mon Cher Coeur, on m'attend. Adieu, mon Ame. Je vous souhait tout ce que
vous desire._

_Letter 63._

_July the 4th_ [1654].

Because you find fault with my other letters, this is like to be shorter
than they; I did not intend it so though, I can assure you. But last
night my brother told me he did not send his till ten o'clock this
morning, and now he calls for mine at seven, before I am up; and I can
only be allowed time to tell you that I am in Kent, and in a house so
strangely crowded with company that I am weary as a dog already, though
I have been here but three or four days; that all their mirth has not
mended my humour, and that I am here the same I was in other places;
that I hope, merely because you bid me, and lose that hope as often as I
consider anything but yours. Would I were easy of belief! they say one
is so to all that one desires. I do not find it, though I am told I was
so extremely when I believed you loved me. That I would not find, and
you have only power to make me think it. But I am called upon. How fain
I would say more; yet 'tis all but the saying with more circumstance
than I am

Yours.

[Directed.] For your master.

_Letter 64._

I see you can chide when you please, and with authority; but I deserve
it, I confess, and all I can say for myself is, that my fault proceeded
from a very good principle in me. I am apt to speak what I think; and to
you have so accustomed myself to discover all my heart that I do not
believe it will ever be in my power to conceal a thought from you.
Therefore I am afraid you must resolve to be vexed with all my senseless
apprehensions as my brother Peyton is with some of his wife's, who is
thought a very good woman, but the most troublesome one in a coach that
ever was. We dare not let our tongues lie more on one side of our mouths
than t'other for fear of overturning it. You are satisfied, I hope, ere
this that I 'scaped drowning. However, 'tis not amiss that my will made
you know now how to dispose of all my wealth whensoever I die. But I am
troubled much you should make so ill a journey to so little purpose;
indeed, I writ by the first post after my