en I die, or
before I die, that all my labour has been in vain; that I am not a better
man, not a wiser man, not a more useful man after all. Do not let my
grey hairs go down with sorrow to the grave. Do not let me die with the
miserable thought that, in spite of all my struggles to do my duty, my
life has been a failure, and I a fool. Do not let me wake in the next
life, like Dives in the torment, to be utterly confounded; to find that I
was all wrong, and have nothing left but everlasting disappointment and
confusion of face. O Lord, who didst endure all shame for me, save me
from that most utter shame. O God, in thee have I trusted; let me never
be confounded.
Wake in the next life to find oneself confounded? Alas! alas! Many a
man wakes in this life to find himself that; and really sometimes by no
fault, seemingly, of his own: so that all he can do is to be dumb, and
not to open his mouth, for it is God's doing. For a man's worst miseries
and sorrows are, too often, caused not by himself, but by those whom he
loves.
Consider the one case of vice, or even of mere ingratitude, in those
nearest and dearest to a man's heart; and of being so confounded through
them, and by them, in spite of all love, care, strictness, tenderness,
teaching, prayers--what not--and all in vain.
No wonder that, under that bitterest blow, valiant and virtuous men, ere
now, have never lifted up their heads again, but turned their faces to
the wall, and died: and may the Lord have mercy on them. Confounded they
have been in this world; confounded they will not be, we must trust, in
the world to come. The Lord of all pity will pity them, and pour His oil
and wine into their aching wounds, and bring them to His own inn, and to
His secret dwelling-place, where the wicked cease from troubling, and the
weary are at rest.
One word more, and I have done. Do you wish to pray, with hope that you
may be heard,--O Lord, confound me not, and bring me not to shame? Then
hold to one commandment of Christ's. Do to others as you would they
should do to you. For with what measure you measure to your fellow-men,
it shall be measured to you again. Have charity, have patience, have
mercy. Never bring a human being, however silly, ignorant, or weak,
above all any little child, to shame and confusion of face. Never, by
cruelty, by petulance, by suspicion, by ridicule, even by selfish and
silly haste; never, above all, by indulging in the dev
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