think of for birthday
presents for her) she shams wearing out a needle-book and a
pin-cushion every year.
The only things we can think of for Father are paper-cutters; but
there's no sham about _his_ wearing _them_ out;
He would always lose them, long before his next birthday, if Mother
did not keep finding them lying about.
Last year's paper-cutter was as big as a sword (not as big as Father's
sword, but as big as a wooden one, like ours),
And he left it behind in a railway-carriage, when he'd had it just
thirty-six hours;
So we knew he was ready for another. It was Mother's birthday that
bothered us so;

[Illustration: Review of the Household Troops
The Cavalry]

And if it hadn't been for Dolly's Major (he's her Godfather, and she
calls him "my Major"), what we should have done I really
don't know!
He said, "What's the matter?" And Dolly said,
"Mother's birthday's the matter." And I said, "We can't think what
to devise
To give her a birthday treat that won't give her neuralgia, and will
take her by surprise.
Look here, Major! How can you give people treats who can order what
they wish for far better than you?
I wonder what they do for the Queen!--her birthday must be the hardest
of all." But he said, "Not a bit of it! They have a review:
Cocked hats and all the rest of it; and a salute, and a _feu de joie_,
and a March-Past.
That's the way we keep the Queen's Birthday; and every year the same
as the last."
So I settled at once to have a Mother's Birthday Review; and that she
should be Queen, and I should be the General in command.
I thought she couldn't come to any harm by sitting in a fur cloak and
a birthday wreath at the window, and bowing and waving
her hand.
We did not tell her what was coming, we only asked for leave to have
all the seven donkeys for an hour and a half;
(We always hire them from the same old man)--two for the girls, and
five for me and my brothers--I told him, "for me and
my Staff."
We could have managed with five, if the girls would only have been
Maids of Honour, and stayed indoors with the Queen.
Maggie wo