m," observed the Cap'n, with sullen prod of his
thumb in direction of the "gingerbready" tower of the Bickford place
rising over the ridge, "marooned in that judges' stand like penguins
on a ledge--we'll be li'ble to break the monotony. Oh yes! There ain't
no doubt about that."

"Why, there'll be northin' to it!" blustered Hiram, encouragingly.
"I'll swear 'em into line, you holler 'Go!' and the Honer'ble
Bickford will finger that new gold stop-watch of his and see how fast
they do it. Northin' to it, I say!"

"This is the blastedest town a man ever settled down in to spend his
last days in peace and quietness," growled the Cap'n. "There's a set
of men here that seem to be perfickly happy so long as they're rollin'
up a gob of trouble, sloppin' a little sweet-oil and molasses on the
outside and foolin' some one into swallerin' it. I tell ye, Look,
I've lived here a little longer than you have, and when you see a
man comin' to offer you what they call an honor, kick him on general
principles, and kick him hard."

"Doctors ought to be willin' to take their own medicine," retorted
Hiram, grimly. "Here you be, first selec'man and--"

"They caught me when I wa'n't lookin'--not bein' used to the ways
of land-piruts," replied the Cap'n, gloomily. "I was tryin' to warn
you as one that's been ahead and knows."

"Why, that's just what I like about this town," blurted Hiram,
undismayed. "When I came home to Palermo a year ago or so, after all
my wanderin's, they wouldn't elect me so much as hog-reeve--seemed
to be down on me all 'round. But here--heard what they did last
night?" There was pride in his tones. "They elected me foreman of
the Smyrna Ancient and Honer'ble Firemen's Association."

"And you let 'em hornswoggle you into takin' it?" demanded the Cap'n.

"Leather buckets, piazzy hat, speakin'-trumpet, bed-wrench, and
puckerin'-string bag are in my front hall this minit," said Hiram,
cheerily, "and the wife is gittin' the stuff together for the feed
and blow-out next week. I'm goin' to do it up brown!"

The Cap'n opened his mouth as though to enter upon revelations. But
he shut it without a word.

"It ain't no use," he reflected, his mind bitter with the memories
of his own occupancy of that office. "It's like the smallpox and the
measles; you've got to have a run of 'em yourself before you're safe
from ketchin' 'em."

The Honorable J. Percival Bickford, rotund and suave with the
mushiness of the near-gentleman