in' to do to him. What you ought to done was settle in
Vienny. We've heard out our way how them Smyrna bloodsuckers have--"

Cap'n Sproul whirled on the ancient detractor, whiskers bristling
angrily. He had never been backward in pointing out Smyrna's faults.
But to have an outsider do it in the open forum of a firemen's muster
was a different matter.

"Before I started in to criticise other towns or brag about my own,
Trufant," he snorted, "I'd move over into some place where citizens
like you, that's been dead ten years and ought to be buried, ain't
walkin' round because there ain't soil enough left in town to bury
'em in." This was biting reference to Vienna's ledgy surface.

"I'd ruther walk on granite than have web feet and paddle in muck,"
retorted Uncle Trufant, ready with the ancient taunt as to the big
bog that occupied Smyrna's interior.

"Ducks are good property," rejoined the Cap'n, serenely, "but I never
heard of any one keepin' crows for pets nor raisin' 'em for market.
There ain't anything but a crow will light on your town, and they
only do it because the sight of it makes 'em faint."

Stimulated because bystanders were listening to the colloquy, Uncle
Trufant shook his cane under Cap'n Sproul's nose.

"That's what ye be in Smyrna--ducks!" he squealed. "You yourself come
to your own when ye waddled off'm the deck of a ship and settled there.
Down here to-day with an el'funt and what's left of a busted circus,
and singin' brag songs, when there ain't a man in this county but
what knows Smyrna never had the gristle to put up a fight man-fashion
at a firemen's muster. Vienny can shake one fist at ye and run ye
up a tree. Vienny has allus done it. Vienny allus will do it. Ye can't
fight!"

Hiram had cocked his ear at sound of Uncle Trufant's petulant squeal.
He thrust close to them, elbowing the crowd.

"Fight! Why, you old black and tan, what has fightin' got to do with
the makin' of a fire department? There's been too much fightin' in
years past. It's a lot of old terriers like you that had made firemen
looked down on. Your idee of fire equipment was a kag of new rum and
plenty of brass knuckles. I can show ye that times has changed! Look
at that picture there!" He waved his hairy hand at the ladies who
were distributing the last of the lunch-baskets. "That's the way to
come to muster--come like gents, act like gents, eat like gents, and
when it's all over march with your lady on your arm."

"Th