you may kiss Matty Bell. She's
engaged to Gusty. Well, Gusty, you _are_ a sly one. Never once have
you been near my house since your return. Better employed, you will say.
Ha, ha, _I_ know young men. Marry in haste and repent at leisure.
But come over now and sit near me by this window. I shouldn't object to
a dish of gossip with you, not at all. Do you remember that day when you
had your first tooth out? How you screamed? I held your hands, and your
mother your head. You were an arrant coward, Gusty, and I'm frank enough
to remind you of the fact."

Just then, to Augustus Jenkins' infinite relief, Mrs. Bell entered the
room; he was spared any further reminiscences of his youth, and he and
Matty were thankful to escape into the garden.

After the necessary congratulations had been gone through, and Mrs. Bell
had bridled, and looked important, and Mrs. Butler had slapped her
friend on the shoulder, and given her elbow a sly poke, and in short
gone through the pleasantries which she thought becoming to the
occasion, the ladies turned to the more serious business in hand.

Mrs. Butler, who prided herself on being candid, who was the terror of
her friends on account of this said candor, asked a plain question in
her usual style.

"Maria, go to the window and look out. Now, Mrs. Bell, you answer me yes
or no to this. Has Captain Bertram a wife concealed in this house, or
has he not? In short, is my throat naked for no rhyme or reason!"

Mrs. Bell, who could not quite see what Mrs. Butler's throat had to say
to a clandestine wife of Captain Bertram's, stared at her friend with
her usual round and stolid eyes.

"I think your brain must be wandering, Martha Butler," she said. "I
don't know anything about your throat, except that it is very indelicate
to wear it exposed, and as to Captain Bertram having a wife here, do you
want to insult me after all these years, Martha?"

"I want to do nothing of the kind, Tilly Bell. I only want to get at the
naked truth."

"It was your naked throat a minute ago."

"Well, they hang together, my throat and the truth. Has that young man
got a wife in this house, or has he not?"

"He has not, Mrs. Butler, and you forfeit my friendship from this
minute."

"Oh, I forfeit it, do I? (Come, Maria, we'll be going.) Very well, Mrs.
Bell, I have forfeited your friendship, very well. And there's no young
woman who oughtn't to be here, concealed on these premises. (Maria, stay
looking out at