no more, for I did not dare to tell her yet; but I wished I had
spoken to her about Olivia, instead of hiding her name, and all
belonging to her, in my inmost heart. My mother would know all quite
soon enough, unless Julia and I agreed to keep it secret, and let things
go on as they were.

If Julia said she would marry me, knowing that I was heart and soul in
love with another woman, why, then I would go through with it, and my
mother need never hear a word about my dilemma.

Julia must decide my lot. My honor was pledged to her; and if she
insisted upon the fulfilment of my engagement to her, well, of course, I
would fulfil it.

I went down reluctantly at length to the new house; but it was at almost
the last hour. The church-clocks had already struck four; and I knew
Johanna would be true to her time, and drive up the Grange at five. I
left a message with my mother for her, telling her where she would find
Julia and me. Then doggedly, but sick at heart with myself and all the
world, I went down to meet my doom.

It was getting into nice order, this new house of ours. We had had six
months to prepare it in, and to fit it up exactly to our minds; and it
was as near my ideal of a pleasant home as our conflicting tastes
permitted. Perhaps this was the last time I should cross its threshold.
There was a pang in the thought.

This was my position. If Julia listened to my avowal angrily, and
renounced me indignantly, passionately, I lost fortune, position,
profession; my home and friends, with the sole exception of my mother. I
should be regarded alternately as a dupe and a scoundrel. Guernsey would
become too hot to hold me, and I should be forced to follow my luck in
some foreign land. If, on the other hand, Julia clung to me, and would
not give me up, trusting to time to change my feelings, then I lost
Olivia; and to lose her seemed the worse fate of the two.

Julia was sitting alone in the drawing-room, which overlooked the harbor
and the group of islands across the channel. There was no fear of
interruption; no callers to ring the bell and break in upon our
_tete-a-tete_. It was an understood thing that at present only Julia's
most intimate friends had been admitted into our new house, and then by
special invitation alone.

There was a very happy, very placid expression on her face. Every harsh
line seemed softened, and a pleased smile played about her lips. Her
dress was one of those simple, fresh, clean musli