on dear, you'll have to go home. It's your duty.
Your father must be getting old now. He needs you. He has forgiven
you--you bad boy! And you are very lucky. It almost kills me to think of
your leaving White Slides. But that is selfish. I'm going to learn to be
like Ben Wade. He never thinks of himself.

"Rest assured, Wilson, that I will never marry Jack Belllounds. It seems
years since that awful October first. I gave my word then, and I would
have lived up to it. But I've changed. I'm older. I see things
differently. I love dad as well. I feel as sorry for Jack Belllounds. I
still think I might help him. I still believe in my duty to his father.
But I can't marry him. It would be a sin. I have no right to marry a man
whom I do not love. When it comes to thought of his touching me, then I
hate him. Duty toward dad is one thing, and I hold it high, but that is
not reason enough for a woman to give herself. Some duty to myself is
higher than that. It's hard for me to tell you--for me to understand.
Love of you has opened my eyes. Still I don't think it's love of you
that makes me selfish. I'm true to something in me that I never knew
before. I could marry Jack, loving you, and utterly sacrifice myself, if
it were right. But it would be wrong. I never realized this until you
kissed me. Since then the thought of anything that approaches personal
relations--any hint of intimacy with Jack fills me with disgust.

"So I'm not engaged to Jack Belllounds, and I'm never going to be. There
will be trouble here. I feel it. I see it coming. Dad keeps at me
persistently. He grows older. I don't think he's failing, but then
there's a loss of memory, and an almost childish obsession in regard to
the marriage he has set his heart on. Then his passion for Jack seems
greater as he learns little by little that Jack is not all he might be.
Wilson, I give you my word; I believe if dad ever really sees Jack as I
see him or you see him, then something dreadful will happen. In spite of
everything dad still believes in Jack. It's beautiful and terrible.
That's one reason why I've wanted to help Jack. Well, it's not to be.
Every day, every hour, Jack Belllounds grows farther from me. He and his
father will try to persuade me to consent to this marriage. They may
even try to force me. But in that way I'll be as hard and as cold as Old
White Slides. No! Never! For the rest, I'll do my duty to dad. I'll
stick to him. I could not engage myself to yo