e, if you would marry the best man in the
world, impersonate youth and beauty. Dear languishing widow, if you
would marry a real man, impersonate youth, beauty and wealth. You will
win. The odds are much against you here in the East, where in every
state there are thousands and thousands of more women than there are
men, but you will win. Men follow actresses around the world because
they impersonate love, passion, beauty, virtue and nobleness. The men
really think actresses must possess what they portray. You see, it is
all a matter of thinking. It does not matter how many times a man has
lost on the races, if he is a good sport he will bet on the next
horse that looks good to him. Women need to impersonate looking good,
better, best. Not on occasions only, but all the time. Men like women
who are good pals. So ladies impersonate sympathy, kindness, patience,
good fellowship, enthusiasm, in the things that interest men. If you
belong to the Citrus family, impersonate the Peach. If you belong to
the Nettle family, impersonate the Violet. You may be so homely that
your face pains you, but think of the impersonations of beauty you
can buy at the drug store. Impersonate silence. A young lady in
Philadelphia lost her voice and she had nineteen proposals that year.
Impersonate form. You may be as angular as the streets in Boston, yet
almost any department store will shape you up. You may be so fat that
you haven't seen your feet in years, still you can impersonate so much
good nature that men will be attracted to you as flowers to the sun.

* * * * *

Have confidence in everything you do, even when you eat sausages at a
quick lunch next door to the dog-catcher.

* * * * *

Hell is not paved with good intentions. Hell is paved with
sanctimonious pretensions.

* * * * *

When you get up, where does your lap go? When you love, where does
your hate go?

* * * * *

After you have walked the floor all night trying to get the baby to
sleep, you can at least be thankful that you do not live in Greenland
where the nights are six months long.

* * * * *

Avoid hot words in anger, you might tell the truth. A Chicago father
thrashed his son for being out late at night. Then added: "When I
was your age my father would not let me be out after dark." The boy
answered: "Then