es than his father does about
cigars.

SIR DENIS
Notwithstanding all that, 'tis my belief that after
six months in England, he would be fit company for
the best people in the land.

DONAL
What the blazes does he want learnin' to play polo
for, when he must make his livin' as a farmer?

LADY DELAHUNTY
Listen now, Donal, and be reasonable. When--

DONAL
Is it the way you want to break off the match? The
truth now, and nothin' else.

LADY DELAHUNTY
Of course, we don't want the match to be broken off.
But now that Finbarr is heir to a title--well, we all
know that Kitty is a very nice and good girl; but as
Sir Denis says: "'Tis a pity that we should force
people to marry against their will, and--"

DONAL
The long and short of it is that my daughter isn't
good enough for your damn, flat-footed clodhopper of
a son. Though 'twas Dinny himself that forced the
match on me.

LADY DELAHUNTY (_indignantly_)
Sir Denis, if you please.

SIR DENIS
Donal, Donal, be reasonable and agreeable, man.
You should know that people are never the same after
royal favours have been conferred on them. And
though I am perfectly satisfied with myself and my
social standin', such as it is, yet, as you know, we
must look to the future of our children.

DONAL
Well, of all the old mollycoddlin' bladderskites that
ever I listened to, you beat them all.

SIR DENIS
Restrain yourself, Donal, and leave me finish. Well,
I was about to say, when you interrupted, that when
Finbarr has learnt how to behave like a real gentleman,
and can hold a cup of afternoon tea on his knee
without spillin' it all over himself, then he may aspire
to higher things, and want a wife who can play the
violin as well as the piano, and speak all the languages
in the world also.

DONAL
Wisha bad luck and misfortune to your blasted impudence,
to cast a reflection on my daughter, and
she that can play twenty-one tunes on the piano, all
by herself and from the music too. And she can play
the typewriter as well, and that's more than any one
belongin' to you can do. 'Tis well you know there's
no more music in the Delahunty family than there
would be in an old cow or a mangy jackass that you'd
find grazin' by the roadside.

KITTY
Tell him all I know about Irish, French, and German
too, father.

DONAL
The next thing I will tell him is to take himself and
his bloody tall hat out of my house and never show
his face here again.

LADY DELAHUNTY
I'm surpr