red, my soul derives its happiness from God.
I see before me broad rivers and streams springing from that
fountain, whence all solid comfort flows; but great weakness, much
unfaithfulness, many omissions and errors in myself. Lord increase my
faith, that I may enter the holiest by the blood of Jesus. For some
time I have met in band with Mrs. W. We have had many precious seasons
together.--A circumstance occurring which was misconstrued, put me
suddenly out of temper, and caused me much pain of mind, besides
displeasing others together with my dear partner. O my God, but for
Thy blood, I should lose all hope of eternal happiness; yet blot not,
I beseech Thee, my name out of the book of life; but if ever my heart
went with my words, I entreat Thee,--
"Chase this self-will through all my heart,
Through all its latent mazes there."
"1814.--Reflecting on the past--my mercies and ingratitude, my
warnings and neglect, my privileges and non-improvements, my
affliction and restoration to health, Thy love, O God, in ten thousand
instances, and my small affection, I wonder why I am still the object
of Thy care, but I see the cause in Jesus' blood. There the reason
lies. O might I here my nature lose, and gain the Infinite."
Musing on the loss of her children, three of whom had died in infancy,
she writes:--
Blest mother! thus to yield to God
The gifts so lately given;
Blest babes I for you have cross'd the flood,
And safely 'scaped to heaven.
I have been very much harassed with temptation of an awful kind,--to
blaspheme the blessed Spirit. My God, preserve me. I shudder at the
thought, and have necessarily been driven to God in prayer.--I have
to praise God for temptation; for seeking refuge in Jesus, my only
defence against my enemy, I have a firmer confidence in Him as my
Saviour.
Whither, O whither, should I go?
To Thy blest wounds I flee;
No refuge can I find below,
My help is all in Thee.
"The illumination! a crowded city! many devices! The face of the
people seems to speak peace, but Thou, Lord, seest the heart. Set my
heart right.--As the clock struck three I was awoke with the words;
'Put on the helmet of salvation and the weapon of all prayer.' For a
time fear crept over me, lest my husband and child, both from home,
should return ill; but as I meditated, the passage occurred; 'All
things work together for good to them that love God.' I was instantly
delivered; and all I
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