my heart and
inflamed my imagination, I consented to the performance of the nine
customary masses for the rest of the soul.

The priest to whom I first went, told me that he was too busy to
undertake the whole, but that I might depend upon him for three. From
him I went to another, who engaged to say the remaining six, and did
so without delay. Sunday after Sunday, for a considerable time, I went
to the first, to inquire whether my three masses would be said in the
following week. He always found some excuse, saying that "there were
others more urgent than myself--that he was previously engaged--that
he had undertaken more than was in his power to perform,". From
February to June, I was thus put off under various pretexts. Worn out,
at length, by so many fruitless efforts, I resolved to put an end to
them, and mentioned the subject to your aunt, your mother's sister,
expressing to her my extreme annoyance. She asked me if I had offered
the priest the amount of the masses which he had promised to say?
"No," I said, "the idea never occurred to me; but even if it had, I
should not have dared to do it, for fear of offending him. It is not
usual", I added scornfully, "to pay before one is served. No one ever
pays me for a saddle before I make it." "No matter," replied your
aunt, "my advice to you is to return to the priest, and offer to pay
for the masses which you have ordered."

I did as she advised me, and this time my request was favourably
received. The priest seized the six-franc piece which I laid on the
table, looked at me and said, "Do you wish me to say six?" "No,"
I replied, with a feeling of indignation which I could hardly
repress--"No, sir, I only want three. Return to me the rest of the
money; poor folks cannot afford to spend so much at once."

I left the priest, thoroughly ashamed of having contributed to gratify
his cupidity, and very much disposed to think the religion we were
taught was nothing but a tissue of fables and impostures, to which the
thirst of gold and silver had given birth. I cannot tell you all the
sad and painful reflections that occupied my mind during the remainder
of that day; I was overcome by them, and rejoiced to see the night,
hoping to find relief in sleep. I went to bed, but could not close my
eyes. Still haunted by the remembrance of what had so disgusted me,
a multitude of thoughts crowded on my imagination. I knew that the
priests claimed the word of God as their authority