bad books
I had read, were in part the causes of the sad state I have described,
I cannot help also attributing the greatest part of them to the
_abuses_, the _superstition_, and the _errors_ which disfigure
Christianity in the Romish church, and which had so disgusted me that
they had driven me into total infidelity.

Such, then, being in fact my religious state, you may well believe, my
children, that I was not happy; for it is impossible to be so without
trusting in God, who is the source of supreme good and true peace.
I was assiduous in my occupation; I frequented the society of my
friends; but, my heart empty and incessantly craving after something
which I could not obtain, was never content. My mind, restless and
agitated, could no where find an object to fix and satisfy it.
Listlessness followed me every where, and seemed to increase upon
me. O how unhappy, and how pitiable are those, who are, as was then,
without God, without Christ, without hope in the world!

I was in this wretched state when it pleased God to have pity upon me,
and to cause a ray of light to penetrate my mind. One evening, after
the labours of the day, instead of going as usual to the club which I
frequented, I went alone upon the public walk, where I remained till
the night was far advanced: the moon shone clear and bright: I had
never before been so struck by the magnificence of the heavens, and
I felt unusually disposed to reflection. "No," I said, (after
contemplating for a long time the impressive scene before me,) "no,
nature is not God," (for till then I had entertained this opinion,)
"God is certainly distinct from nature: in all this I can only
recognise a _work_ replete with harmony, order, and beauty. Although I
cannot perceive the Author, whose power, intelligence, and wisdom are
every where so strongly imprinted on it; still, both my reason and my
feeling combine to convince me of his existence."

This conclusion, which I sincerely adopted, was the result of the
reflections in which I had been that evening absorbed.

Some days after this, the examination of a watch, its springs, its
various wheels, and its motions, brought me afresh to the same
conclusion, and for ever confirmed me in the belief of a God, the
Creator of all things. "If this watch," I argued, "could not make
itself, and necessarily leads us to suppose an artist who made each
part, and so arranged the whole as to produce these movements--how
much stronger rea