any such philosophers in this country."

"Just so," said the commodore.

"I wish I knew," resumed Mrs. Abbott; for there existed in her head,
as well as in that of Mr. Dodge, such a total confusion on the
subject of deportment, that neither saw nor felt the cool sarcasm of
the old sailor; "I wish I knew, now, whether Eve Effingham has really
been regenerated! What is your opinion, commodore?"

"Re-what, ma'am," said the commodore, who was not conscious of ever
having heard the word before; for, in his Sabbaths on the water,
where he often worshipped God devoutly in his heart, the language of
the professedly pious was never heard; "I can only say she is as
pretty a skiff as floats, but I can tell you nothing about
resuscitation--indeed, I never heard of her having been drowned."

"Ah, Mrs. Abbott, the very best friends of the Effinghams will not
maintain that they are pious. I do not wish to be invidious, or to
say unneighbourly things; but were I upon oath, I could testify to a
great many things, which would unqualifiedly show, that none of them
have ever experienced."

"Now, Mr. Dodge, you know how much I dislike scandal," the widow-
bewitched cried affectedly, "and I cannot tolerate such a sweeping
charge. I insist on the proofs of what you say, in which, no doubt,
these gentlemen will join me."

By proofs, Mrs. Abbott meant allegations.

"Well, ma'am, since you insist on my _proving_ what I have said,
you shall not be disappointed. In the first place, then, they _read_
their family prayers out of a book."

"Ay, ay," put in the captain; "but that merely shows they have some
education; it is done every where."

"Your pardon, sir; no people but the Catholics and the church people
commit this impiety. The idea of _reading_ to the Deity, Mrs.
Abbott, is particularly shocking to a pious soul."

"As if the Lord stood in need of letters! _That_ is very bad, I
allow; for at _family_ prayers, a form becomes mockery."

"Yes, ma'am; but what do you think of cards?"

"Cards!" exclaimed Mrs. Abbott, holding up her pious hands, in holy
horror.

"Even so; foul paste-board, marked with kings and queens," said the
captain. Why this is worse than a common sin, being unqualifiedly
anti-republican."

"I confess I did not expect-this! I had heard that Eve Effingham was
guilty of indiscretions, but I did not think she was so lost to
virtue, as to touch a card. Oh! Eve Effingham; Eve Effingham, for
what is your poor disea