by this pain in my heart and this
difficulty in breathing. I run round and round this park, on an empty
stomach, till I am absolutely exhausted.

The King (absently). Couldn't you drive round, then?

Bang. Drive?--But it is the exercise, your Majesty, that--

The King. Of course. I was thinking of something else.

Bang. I would not mind betting that I know what your Majesty was
thinking of--if I may say so without impertinence.

The King. What was it, then?

Bang. Your Majesty was thinking of the socialists!

The King. Of the--?

Bang. The socialists!

The King (looking amused). Why particularly of them?

Bang. I was right, you see! Ha, ha, ha! (His laughter brings on a
violent fit of coughing.) Your Majesty must excuse me; laughing always
brings on my cough.--But, you know, the papers this morning are full of
their goings on!

The King. I have not read the paper.

Bang. Then I can assure your Majesty that the way they are going on is
dreadful. And just when we were all getting on so comfortably! What in
the world do they want?

The King. Probably they want to get on comfortably too.

Bang. Aren't they well off as it is, the beasts? Excuse me, your
Majesty, for losing my temper in your Majesty's presence.

The King. Don't mention it.

Bang. You are very good. These strikes, too--what is the object of them?
To make every one poor? Every one can't be rich. However, I pin my faith
to a strong monarchy. Your Majesty is the padlock on my cash-box!

The King. I am what?

Bang. The padlock on my cash-box! A figure of speech I ventured to apply
to your Majesty.

The King. I am much obliged!

Bang. Heaven help us if the liberals come into power; their aim is to
weaken the monarchy.

(A BEGGAR BOY comes up to them.)

Beggar Boy. Please, kind gentlemen, spare a penny! I've had nothing to
eat to-day!

Bang (taking no notice of him). Aren't there whispers of the sort about?
But of course it can't be true.

Beggar Boy (pertinaciously). Please, kind gentlemen, spare a penny! I've
had nothing to eat to-day.

Bang. You have no right to beg.

The King. You have only the right to starve, my boy! Here! (Gives him
a gold coin. The BEGGAR Boy backs away from him, staring at him, and
gripping the coin in his fist.)

Bang. He never even thanked you! Probably the son of a socialist!--I
would never have opened this park to every one in the way your Majesty
has done.

The King. It saves the work-people a qua