osity, I could not go to Europe, for the reason that the school
could not live financially while I was absent. They then informed me
that Mr. Henry L. Higginson, and some other good friends who I know do
not want their names made public, were then raising a sum of money which
would be sufficient to keep the school in operation while I was away. At
this point I was compelled to surrender. Every avenue of escape had been
closed.

Deep down in my heart the whole thing seemed more like a dream than
like reality, and for a long time it was difficult for me to make myself
believe that I was actually going to Europe. I had been born and largely
reared in the lowest depths of slavery, ignorance, and poverty. In my
childhood I had suffered for want of a place to sleep, for lack of food,
clothing, and shelter. I had not had the privilege of sitting down to a
dining-table until I was quite well grown. Luxuries had always seemed to
me to be something meant for white people, not for my race. I had always
regarded Europe, and London, and Paris, much as I regarded heaven. And
now could it be that I was actually going to Europe? Such thoughts as
these were constantly with me.

Two other thoughts troubled me a good deal. I feared that people who
heard that Mrs. Washington and I were going to Europe might not know all
the circumstances, and might get the idea that we had become, as some
might say, "stuck up," and were trying to "show off." I recalled that
from my youth I had heard it said that too often, when people of my
race reached any degree of success, they were inclined to unduly exalt
themselves; to try and ape the wealthy, and in so doing to lose their
heads. The fear that people might think this of us haunted me a good
deal. Then, too, I could not see how my conscience would permit me to
spare the time from my work and be happy. It seemed mean and selfish in
me to be taking a vacation while others were at work, and while there
was so much that needed to be done. From the time I could remember, I
had always been at work, and I did not see how I could spend three or
four months in doing nothing. The fact was that I did not know how to
take a vacation.

Mrs. Washington had much the same difficulty in getting away, but she
was anxious to go because she thought that I needed the rest. There
were many important National questions bearing upon the life of the race
which were being agitated at that time, and this made it all the harde