interest. Not infrequently on such
occasions every one present has spoken at once with concentrated anxiety
upon the condition of the weather, the atmosphere of the room, the hour
of the day, or some like detail of contemptible inferiority. At other
times maidens of unquestionable politeness have sounded instruments of
brass or stringed woods with unceasing vigour, have cast down ornaments
of china, or even stood upon each other's--or this person's--feet with
assumed inelegance. When, therefore, in the midst of my agreeable remark
on the asserted no fragrance of the hound Hercules, a gentleman of
habitual refinement struck me somewhat heavily on the back of the head
with a reclining seat which he was conveying across the room for the
acceptance of a lady, and immediately overwhelmed me with apologies
of almost unnecessary profusion, my mind at once leapt to an inspired
conclusion, and smiling acquiescently I bowed several times to each
person to convey to them an admission of the undoubted fact that to the
wise a timely omen before the storm is as effective as a thunderbolt
afterwards.

It chanced that there was present the exceptionally prepossessing maiden
to whom this person has already referred. So varied and ornate were her
attractions that it would be incompetent in one of my less than average
ability to attempt an adequate portrayal. She had a light-coloured name
with the letters so harmoniously convoluted as to be quite beyond my
inferior power of pronunciation, so that if I wished to refer to her
in her absence I had to indicate the one I meant by likening her to
a full-blown chrysanthemum, a piece of rare jade, an ivory pagoda of
unapproachable antiquity, or some other object of admitted grace. Even
this description may scarcely convey to you the real extent of her
elegant personality; but in her presence my internal organs never failed
to vibrate with a most entrancing uncertainty, and even now, at the
recollection of her virtuous demeanour, I am by no means settled within
myself.

"Well," exclaimed this melodious vision, with sympathetic tact, "if
every one is going to disown poor Hercules because he has eaten all our
dinners, I shall be quite willing to have him, for he is a dzear ole
loveykins, wasn't ums?" (This, O my immaculate and dignified sire, which
I transcribe with faithful undeviation, appears to be the dialect of
a remote province, spoken only by maidens--both young and of autumnal
solitude--u