as fate----So, Alderman, I hope you'll pardon my
curiosity. [_Strikes him._

_Smug._ Curiosity! Deuce take your curiosity, sir!--What d'ye mean?

_Sir H._ Nothing at all; I'm but in jest, sir.

_Smug._ Oh, I can take any thing in jest! but a man might imagine, by
the smartness of the stroke, that you were in downright earnest.

_Sir H._ Not in the least, sir; [_Strikes him._] not in the least,
indeed, sir.

_Smug._ Pray, good sir, no more of your jests; for they are the bluntest
jests that ever I knew.

_Sir H._ [_Strikes._] I heartily beg your pardon, with all my heart,
sir.

_Smug._ Pardon, sir! Well, sir, that is satisfaction enough from a
gentleman. But, seriously, now, if you pass any more of your jests upon
me, I shall grow angry.

_Sir H._ I humbly beg your permission to break one or two more.
[_Strikes him._

_Smug._ Oh, lord, sir, you'll break my bones! Are you mad, sir? Murder,
felony, manslaughter! [SIR HARRY _knocks him down_.

_Sir H._ Sir, I beg you ten thousand pardons; but I am absolutely
compelled to it, upon my honour, sir: nothing can be more averse to my
inclinations, than to jest with my honest, dear, loving, obliging
friend, the Alderman.

[_Striking him all this while_: SMUGGLER _tumbles over and over_.

_Enter_ LADY LUREWELL.

_Lady L._ Oh, lord! Sir Harry's murdering the poor old man.

_Smug._ Oh, dear madam, I was beaten in jest, till I am murdered in good
earnest.

_Lady L._ Oh! you barbarous man!--Now the devil take you, Sir Harry, for
not beating him harder--Well, my dear, you shall come at night, and I'll
make you amends. [_Here_ SIR HARRY _takes Snuff_.

_Smug._ Madam, I will have amends before I leave the place----Sir, how
durst you use me thus!

_Sir H._ Sir?

_Smug._ Sir, I say that I will have satisfaction.

_Sir H._ With all my heart. [_Throws Snuff into his Eyes._

_Smug._ Oh, murder! blindness! fire! Oh, madam, madam, get me some
water. Water! fire! fire! water! [_Exit with_ LADY LUREWELL.

_Sir H._ How pleasant is resenting an injury without passion! 'Tis the
beauty of revenge.

No spleen, no trouble, shall my time destroy: Life's but a span, I'll
ev'ry inch enjoy. [_Exit._

ACT THE THIRD.

SCENE I.

_The Street._

_Enter_ C