to you. Do you think, my brother, that your
secret is unknown to me? Have you flattered yourself that I am not
aware that you love Ottilie of Lilienhoehe as truly as I do myself?
If so, you are wrong. I knew it from the first moment that you
spoke of her to me. It was written on your face as plain as any
words. At that time I had not seen her, and, in consequence, I was
as careless of the future as I was of the present. From the fatal
moment, however, that we crossed the threshold of the Prince's
house in Curzon Street, I realised that I was destined by fate to
be your rival. (Here followed a tribute to my own behaviour in the
affair, which, with your permission, I will pass over.) ... I saw
her and loved her from the moment that I looked into her eyes. At
first I resolved that nothing should induce me to play you false;
but I did not know then the strength of my love, or the violence of
the temptation to which I was to be subjected. I give you my word,
Paul, that for the first fortnight I wrestled with myself and my
love with all the strength of a man, who was despairing, and who
wished to be honourable. But it proved too powerful for me in the
end, and at last I was obliged to succumb. The devil was at my
elbow whispering continually that it was not myself alone that I
had to think of, but of my country. To marry the daughter of the
Prince of Lilienhoehe would be to unite the two strongest factions
in Pannonia, to bring peace and happiness to it as a nation, and to
lift it again, from its place in the mire, to its former proud
position among the great peoples of the earth. I can only wonder
how it was that you did not see my misery. That it _was_ misery for
me I can only ask you to believe. The uncertainty was
heart-breaking. One day I felt sure that she loved me, and, in
consequence, I walked in an earthly paradise; the next I was
certain that she did not, and then I tasted all the bitterness of
hell. Meanwhile, my conscience was calling upon me to be as loyal
to you as you had been to me. But it was of no avail. The
temptation was more than I could withstand; at last I fell. My
punishment, however, was not long in coming. This afternoon, as you
know, I arranged to ride with the Princess in the Row. I met her
near Hyde Park Corner, and I assure y