th
the Army and Navy Stores.

_Act III_ (_ten minutes later_): He has exhausted himself grinding away
at an obsolete rotary bell-call. Abruptly his ears are enchanted by a
far, thin, frigid moan. It says: "_Are_ you theah?" Responding savagely
"NO!" he dashes the receiver back into its hook and flings away to
discover that he has lost both train and steamer. Tag line: For this is
London in the Twentieth Century. _Curtain: End of the Play._...

Disenchanted by consideration of this tentative synopsis, the playwright
consulted his watch. Already the incident of the condemnable bandbox
had eaten up much invaluable time. He would see himself doomed to
unending perdition if he would submit to further hindrance on its
behalf.

"Milly," said he with decision, "take that ... thing down-stairs, and
tell Mrs. Gigg to telephone the hat-shop to call for it."

"Yessir."

"And after that, call me a taxi. Tell it to wait. I'll be ready by ten
or know--"

Promptly retiring, Milly took with her, in addition to the bandbox, a
confused impression of a room whose atmosphere was thick with flying
garments, in the wild swirl of which a lanky lunatic danced weirdly,
muttering uncouth incantations....

Forty minutes later (on the stroke of ten) Mr. Staff, beautifully
groomed after his habit, his manner (superbly nonchalant) denying that
he had ever known reason why he should take a single step in haste,
followed his trunks down to the sidewalk and, graciously bidding his
landlady adieu, presented Milly with a keepsake in the shape of a golden
coin of the realm.

A taxicab, heavy-laden with his things, fretted before the door. Staff
nodded to the driver.

"Euston," said he; "and a shilling extra if you drive like sin."

"Right you are, sir."

In the act of entering the cab, Staff started back with bitter
imprecations.

Mrs. Gigg, who had not quite closed the front door, opened it wide to
his remonstrant voice.

"I say, what's this bandbox doing in my cab? I thought I told Milly--"

"Sorry, sir; I forgot," Mrs. Gigg interposed--"bein' that flustered--"

"Well?"

"The woman what keeps the 'at-shop said as 'ow the 'at wasn't to come
back, sir. She said a young lidy bought it yestiddy ahfternoon and
awsked to 'ave it sent you this mornin' before nine o'clock."

"The deuce she did!" said Staff blankly.

"An' the young lidy said as 'ow she'd write you a note explynin'. So I
tells Milly not to bother you no more abaht it, but