lascivious conversation
excite eroticism as much as looks and touch. According to the
education of the persons concerned, this talk may be coarse and
vulgar, or on the contrary refined and full of wit, managed with more
or less skill, or clumsily. Here the natural finesse of woman plays a
considerable part. Men wanting in tact are clumsy and offensive in
their attempts at flirtation, and thus extinguish instead of exciting
the woman's eroticism. The manner in which alcoholic flirtation
manifests itself in cynical, dull, obtrusive and stupid conversation,
corresponds to its other forms of expression. Woman desires
flirtation; but does not wish it to assume an unbecoming form.

One can say anything to a woman; all depends on the way in which it is
said. I have seen lady doctors with whom one could discuss the most
ticklish subjects, profoundly shocked by the misplaced pleasantries of
a tactless professor. In themselves these pleasantries were quite
innocent for medical ears, as my lady colleagues were finally obliged
to admit, when I pointed out to them the specially feminine character
of their psychic reaction, proving to them that they listened without
a frown to things ten times worse, when the lecturer gave them a moral
tone.

Men also generally feel disgusted with the dull, cynical or clumsy
form of female eroticism, although they are not usually over-refined
themselves in this respect.

This last phenomenon leads us to distinguish between flirtation in man
and in woman. For woman it constitutes the only permissible way of
expressing erotic sentiments, and even then much restraint is imposed
on her. Circumstances develop in her the art of flirtation and give
it remarkable finesse. Unless she exposes herself to great danger,
woman can only leave her sensuality to be guessed. Every audacious and
tactless provocation fails in its object; it drives away the men and
destroys a young girl's reputation. Even when possessed by the most
violent erotic desire woman cannot ostensibly depart from her passive
role without compromising herself. Nevertheless, she succeeds on the
whole very easily in exciting the passions of man, by the aid of a few
artifices. No doubt she does not entirely dominate him by this means.
She must be very delicate and adroit, at any rate at first, in the
provocative art of flirtation. These frivolities are greatly
facilitated by her whole nature and by the character of her habitual
eroticism. Man, o