'No offence, sir and lady! Peagrum, that's _my_ name, fust shop round
the corner as you go into Silver Street, plumber and sanitry hengineer,
gas-fittin' and hartistic decorating, bell-'anging in all its branches.
I received instructions from Mr. Jones that I was to look into a little
matter o' leakage in the back-kitchen sink; also to see what taps, if
hany, required seein' to, and gen'ally to put things straight like. So I
come round, 'aving the keys, jest to cast a heye over them, as I may
term it, preliminry to commencing work in the course of a week or so, as
soon as I'm at libity to attend to it pussonally.'

'Oh, the landlord sent you? All right, then.'

'Correct, sir,' said the plumber affably. 'While I've been 'ere, I took
the freedom of going all over this little 'ouse, and a nice cosy little
'ouse you've made of it, for such a nouse as it is! You've done it up
very tysty--very tysty you've done this little 'ouse up; and I've some
claim to speak, seein' as how I've had the decoration throughout of a
many 'ouses in my time, likewise mansions. You ain't been too ambitious,
which is the error most parties falls into with small 'ouses. Now the
parties as 'ad the place before you--by the name o' Rummles--well, I
daresay they satisfied theirselves, but the 'ouse never looked
right--not to _my_ taste, it didn't!'

'George, get rid of this person!' said Ella rapidly, under her breath,
in French. Unfortunately, George's acquaintance with that tongue was
about on a par with the plumber's, and he remained passive.

The plumber now proceeded to put down his mechanic's straw-bag upon the
hall-table, which he did with great care, as if it were of priceless
stuff and contained fragile articles; having done this, he posed himself
with one elbow resting on the post at the foot of the staircase, like a
grimy statue of Shakespeare.

'Ah,' he said, shaking his touzled head, 'this ain't the fust time I've
been 'ere in my puffessional capacity, not by a long way. Not by a long
way, it ain't. Mr. Rummles, him as I mentioned to you afore, and a nice
pleasant-spoken gentleman he was, too--in the tea trade--Mr. Rummles, he
allus sent round for me whenever there was hany odd jobs as wanted
doin', and in course I was allus pleased to get 'em, be they hodd or
hotherwise.'

'Er-exactly,' said George, as soon as he could put in a word; 'but you
see, this lady and I----'

The plumber, however, did not abandon his position, and seem