, and I felt like making
him my confessor, and wanted to tell him all about the frantic endeavor
I had made for Clara's sake; but my letter was long enough when I felt
this impulse, and I thought I could talk it all over with him when he
came, and concluded to wait. And here is another lesson, for me to stop
and reflect on. As time proved, that impulse was right, and I should
have followed its guidance, while the sober second thought which I
obeyed and of which I felt proud, led me to just the opposite of what I
ought to have done. How was I to find myself out? If I yielded to
impulse I was so often wrong, and in that instance I should certainly
have been impulsive. Again comes in the text, "the ways of life are past
comprehending."

Mr. Benton improved every opportunity to talk with me, and while I did
not like the man at first, I became gradually interested in what he
said; and when, in confidence, he informed me that Hal was in love with
Mary Snow, I had a secret joy at receiving his confidence. He was
eighteen years older than myself, and after my mind was settled
regarding the wrong estimate in which I had held him, I treated his
opinions with more deference than over before, and came to regard him as
a good friend to us all.

I intimated to Clara one day that he was a much better man than I had
thought, and she gave me no reply, but looked on me with a light of
wonder in her eyes.

"He does not trouble you now, Clara, does he?"

"Not as before, Emily."

"Well, does he at all?"

"I cannot say I feel quite at ease, Emily dear," she replied.

And I said: "It is your beautifully sensitive nature, darling; you
cannot recover the balance once lost, and the tender nerves that have
been shaken are like strings that after a touch continue to vibrate."

"Perhaps so, Emily, but I shall be so glad when the day comes when no
mask of smiles can cover the workings of the heart, so glad; when we can
really know each other."

"Those are Louis' sentiments."

"Oh yes, my dear boy! he has a heart that beats as mine, Emily, and
after many days it shall come to pass that the desires of his heart
shall be gratified."

Something in her tone and manner made me feel strangely; a chill crept
over me, and for a second I felt numb.

It passed away, however, and through the gate of duty I found work, and
left these thoughts.

When March came to us, father insisted that mother should go to Aunt
Phebe's, if we could get along w