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grace but only a common flight of joy, that I was yet alive, when my
companions were all drowned, and no other joy could I conceive but what
is common with the sailors over a bowl of punch, after they have escaped
the greatest dangers.
The likelihood of wanting for neither food nor conveniences, might have
called upon me for a thankful acknowledgment to Providence. Indeed, the
growth of my corn touched with some sense, but that soon wore off again.
The terrible earthquake pointed to me, as it were, the finger of God,
but my dreadful amazement continued no longer than its duration. But
now, when my spirits began to sink under the burden of a strong
distemper, and I could leisurely view the miseries of death present
themselves before my eyes, then my awakened conscience began to reproach
me with my past life, in which I had so wickedly provoked the justice of
God to pour down his vengeance upon me.
Such reflections as these oppressed me even in the violence of
distemper. Some prayers I uttered, which only proceeded from the fear of
death. But when I considered my father's advice and prophecy, I could
not forbear weeping; for he told me, _That if I did persist in my folly,
I should not only be deprived of God's blessing, but have time enough to
reflect upon my despising his instructions, and this, in a wretched
time, when none could help me_. And now concluding it to be fulfilled,
having no soul in the island to administer any comfort to me, I prayed
earnestly to the Lord, that he would help me in this great calamity. And
this, I think, was the first time I prayed in sincerity for many years.
But now I must return to my journal.
_June_ 28. Something refreshed with sleep, and the fit quite off, I got
up. My dream still occasioned in me a great consternation; and, fearing
that the ague might return the succeeding day, I concluded it time to
get something to comfort me. I filled a case bottle with water, and set
it within reach of my bed; and, to make it more nourishing and less
chilly, I put some rum in it. The next thing I did was to broil me a
piece of goat's flesh, of which I ate but little. I was very weak;
however, walked about, dreading the return of my distemper; and at night
I supped on three of the turtle's eggs, which I roasted and ate, begging
God's blessing therewith.
After I had eaten, I attempted to walk again out of doors with my gun;
but was so weak, that I sat down, and looked at the sea, which wa
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