containing a partial truth (that is, true if it referred
to the afternoon, but not as to the morning), it was necessary for
Braintop's self-vindication that he should feel angry. The two were
very soon recriminating, much in the manner of boy and girl shut up on a
sunny afternoon; after which they, in like manner, made it up--the fact
of both having a habit of consulting the glass, and the accident of
their doing it at the same time, causing an encounter of glances there
that could hardly fail to be succeeded by some affability. For a last
effort, Mrs. Chump laid before Braintop a prospect of advancement in his
office, if he so contrived as to write a letter that should land her
in Brookfield among a scourged, repentant, and forgiven people. That
he might understand the position, she went far modestly to reveal her
weakness for Mr. Pole. She even consented to let 'Ladies' be the opening
apostrophe, provided the word 'Young' went before it: "They'll feel that
sting," she said. Braintop stipulated that she should not look till the
letter was done; and, observing his pen travelling the lines in quick
succession, Mrs. Chump became inspired by a great but uneasy hope. She
was only to be restrained from peeping, by Braintop's petulant "Pray,
ma'am!" which sent her bouncing back to her chair, with a face upon one
occasion too solemn for Braintop's gravity. He had written himself into
excellent spirits; and happening to look up as Mrs. Chump retreated from
his shoulder, the woman's comic reverence for his occupation--the prim
movement of her lips while she repeated mutely the words she supposed he
might be penning--touched him to laughter. At once Mrs. Chump seized on
the paper. "Young ladus," she read aloud, "yours of the 2nd, the 14th,
and 21st ulto. The 'ffection I bear to your onnly remaining parent."

Her enunciation waxed slower and significantly staccato toward a pause.
The composition might undoubtedly have issued from a merchant's office,
and would have done no discredit to the establishment. When the pause
came, Braintop, half for an opinion, and to encourage progress, said,
"Yes, ma'am;" and with "There, sir!" Mrs. Chump crumpled up the paper
and flung it at him. "And there, sir!" she tossed a pen. Hearing
Braintop mutter, "Lady-like behaviour," Mrs. Chump came out in a fiery
bloom. "Ye detestable young fella! Oh, ye young deceiver! Ye cann't do
the work of a man! Oh! and here's another woman dis'pointed, and when
she