the fine brain of a woman, first begins to act for itself, the work is
of heavy labour; she finds herself plunging abroad on infinite seas, and
runs speedily into the anchorage of dogmas, obfuscatory saws, and what
she calls principles. Here she is safe; but if her thinking was
not originally the mere action of lively blood upon that battery of
intelligence, she will by-and-by reflect that it is not well for a live
thing to be tied to a dead, and that long clinging to safety confesses
too much. Merthyr waited for Georgians patiently. On all other points
they were heart-in-heart. It was her pride to say that she loved him
with no sense of jealousy, and prayed that he might find a woman, in
plain words, worthy of him. This woman had not been found; she confessed
that she had never seen her.
Georgians received Captain Gambier's communication in Monmouth. Merthyr
had now and then written of a Miss Belloni; but he had seemed to refer
to a sort of child, and Georgians had looked on her as another Italian
pensioner. She was decisive. The moment she awoke to feel herself
brooding over the thought of this girl, she started to join Merthyr.
Solitude is pasturage for a suspicion. On her way she grew persuaded
that her object was bad, and stopped; until the thought came, 'If he is
in a dilemma, who shall help him save his sister?' And, with spiritually
streaming eyes at a vision of companionship broken (but whether by his
taking another adviser, or by Miss Belloni, she did not ask), Georgiana
continued her journey.
At the door of Lady Gosstre's town-house she hesitated, and said in her
mind, "What am I doing? and what earthliness has come into my love for
him?"
Or, turning to the cry, "Will he want me?" stung herself. Conscious
that there was some poison in her love, but clinging to it not less, she
entered the house, and was soon in Merthyr's arms.
"Why have you come up?" he asked.
"Were you thinking of coming to me quickly?" she murmured in reply.
He did not say yes, but that he had business in London. Nor did he say
what.
Georgiana let him go.
"How miserable is such a weakness! Is this my love?" she thought again.
Then she went to her bedroom, and knelt, and prayed her Saviour's pardon
for loving a human thing too well. But, if the rays of her mind were
dimmed, her heart beat too forcibly for this complacent self-deceit.
"No; not too well! I cannot love him too well. I am selfish. When I say
that, it is mys
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