robbed as
another. It is true, I am willing enough not to see it; I, in some sort,
purposely, harbour a kind of perplexed, uncertain knowledge of my money:
up to a certain point, I am content to doubt. One must leave a little
room for the infidelity or indiscretion of a servant; if you have left
enough, in gross, to do your business, let the overplus of Fortune's
liberality run a little more freely at her mercy; 'tis the gleaner's
portion. After all, I do not so much value the fidelity of my people as
I contemn their injury. What a mean and ridiculous thing it is for a man
to study his money, to delight in handling and telling it over and over
again! 'Tis by this avarice makes its approaches.
In eighteen years that I have had my estate in my, own hands, I could
never prevail with myself either to read over my deeds or examine my
principal affairs, which ought, of necessity, to pass under my knowledge
and inspection. 'Tis not a philosophical disdain of worldly and
transitory things; my taste is not purified to that degree, and I value
them at as great a rate, at least, as they are worth; but 'tis, in truth,
an inexcusable and childish laziness and negligence. What would I not
rather do than read a contract? or than, as a slave to my own business,
tumble over those dusty writings? or, which is worse, those of another
man, as so many do nowadays, to get money? I grudge nothing but care and
trouble, and endeavour nothing so much, as to be careless and at ease.
I had been much fitter, I believe, could it have been without obligation
and servitude, to have lived upon another man's fortune than my own: and,
indeed, I do not know, when I examine it nearer, whether, according to my
humour, what I have to suffer from my affairs and servants, has not in it
something more abject, troublesome, and tormenting than there would be in
serving a man better born than myself, who would govern me with a gentle
rein, and a little at my own case:
"Servitus obedientia est fracti animi et abjecti,
arbitrio carentis suo."
["Servitude is the obedience of a subdued and abject mind, wanting
its own free will."--Cicero, Paradox, V. I.]
Crates did worse, who threw himself into the liberty of poverty, only to
rid himself of the inconveniences and cares of his house. This is what I
would not do; I hate poverty equally with pain; but I could be content to
change the kind of life I live for another that wa
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