I thought you _were_ my
wife.

THE CALIFORNIAN (getting out of the berth, but at the same time keeping
hold of MR. ROBERTS). Thought I was your _wife_! Do I look like your
wife? You can't play that on me, old man. Porter! conductor!

MR. ROBERTS (agonized). Oh, I beseech you, my dear sir, don't--don't! I
can explain it--I can indeed. I know it has an ugly look; but if you
will allow me two words--only two words--

MRS. ROBERTS (suddenly parting the curtain of her berth, and springing
out into the aisle, with her hair wildly dishevelled). Edward!

MR. ROBERTS. Oh, Agnes, explain to this gentleman! [Imploringly.] Don't
you know me?

A VOICE. Make him show you the strawberry mark on his left arm.

MRS. ROBERTS. Edward! Edward! [THE CALIFORNIAN mechanically looses his
grip, and they fly into each other's embrace.] Where did you come from?

A VOICE. Centre door, left hand, one back.

THE CONDUCTOR (returning with his lantern). Hallo! What's the matter
here?

A VOICE. Train robbers! Throw up your hands! Tell the
express-messenger to bring his safe.

[The passengers emerge from their berths in various deshabille and
bewilderment.]

THE CONDUCTOR (to MR. ROBERTS). Have you been making all this row,
waking up my passengers?

THE CALIFORNIAN. No, sir, he hasn't. I've been making this row. This
gentleman was peaceably looking for his wife, and I misunderstood him.
You want to say anything to me?

THE CONDUCTOR (silently taking THE CALIFORNIAN'S measure with his eye, as
he stands six fret in his stockings). If I did, I'd get the biggest
brakeman I could find to do it for me. _I've_ got nothing to say except
that I think you'd better all go back to bed again.

[He goes out, and the passengers disappear one by one, leaving the
ROBERTSES and THE CALIFORNIAN alone.]

THE CALIFORNIAN (to MR. ROBERTS). Stranger, I'm sorry I got you into
this scrape.

MR. ROBERTS. Oh, don't speak of it, my dear sir. I'm sure we owe you
all sorts of apologies, which I shall be most happy to offer you at my
house in Boston, with every needful explanation. [He takes out his card,
and gives it to THE CALIFORNIAN, who looks at it, and then looks at MR.
ROBERTS curiously.] There's my address, and I'm sure we shall both be
glad to have you call.

MRS. ROBERTS. Oh, yes indeed. [THE CALIFORNIAN parts the curtains of
his berth to re-enter it.] Good-night, sir, and I assure you _we_ shall
do nothing more to