and turn the tables
on him.

MR. ROBERTS. I--I'd rather _not_, my dear.

MRS. ROBERTS. Why, Edward, what can you mean?

MR. ROBERTS. He's very violent. Suppose it _shouldn't_ be Willis?

MRS. ROBERTS. Nonsense! It _is_ Willis. Come, let's both go and just
tax him with it. He can't deny it, after all he's done for me. [She
pulls her reluctant husband toward THE CALIFORNIAN'S berth, and they each
draw a curtain.] Willis!

THE CALIFORNIAN (with plaintive endurance). Well, ma'am?

MRS. ROBERTS (triumphantly). There! I knew it was you all along. How
could you play such a joke on me?

THE CALIFORNIAN. I didn't know there'd been any joke; but I suppose
there must have been, if you say so. Who am I now, ma'am--your husband,
or your baby, or your husband's wife, or--

MRS. ROBERTS. How funny you are! You _know_ you're Willis Campbell, my
only brother. Now _don't_ try to keep it up any longer, Willis.

[Voices from various berths. "Give us a rest, Willis!" "Joke's too
thin, Willis!" "You're played out, Willis!" "Own up, old fellow--own
up!"]

THE CALIFORNIAN (issuing from his berth, and walking up and down the
aisle, as before, till quiet is restored). I haven't got any sister, and
my name ain't Willis, and it ain't Campbell. I'm very sorry, because I'd
like to oblige you any way I could.

MRS. ROBERTS (in deep mortification). It's I who ought to apologize, and
I do most humbly. I don't know what to say; but when I got to thinking
about it, and how kind you had been to me, and how sweet you had been
under all my--interruptions, I felt perfectly sure that you couldn't be a
mere stranger, and then the idea struck me that you must be my brother in
disguise; and I was so certain of it that I couldn't help just letting
you know that we'd found you out, and--

MR. ROBERTS (offering a belated and feeble moral support). Yes.

MRS. ROBERTS (promptly turning upon him). And _you_ ought to have kept
me from making such a simpleton of myself, Edward.

THE CALIFORNIAN (soothingly). Well, ma'am, that ain't always so easy. A
man may mean well, and yet not be able to carry out his intentions. But
it's all right. And I reckon we'd better try to quiet down again, and
get what rest we can.

MRS. ROBERTS. Why, yes, certainly; and I will try--oh, I will _try_ not
to disturb you again. And if there's anything we can do in reparation
after we reach Boston, we shall be so glad to do it!

[They bow th