. It
is like it was to be king, when men struggled among themselves who
should be king. Whatever he may be, I am ambitious. I love to think
that other men should look to him as being above them, and that
something of this should come down upon me as his wife. I do not know
whether it was not the happiest moment of my life when he told me
that the Queen had sent for him."

"It was not so with him."

"No, Duke,--no! He and I are very different. He only wants to be
useful. At any rate, that was all he did want."

"He is still the same."

"A man cannot always be carrying a huge load up a hill without having
his back bent."

"I don't know that the load need be so heavy, Duchess."

"Ah, but what is the load? It is not going to the Treasury Chambers
at eleven or twelve in the morning, and sitting four or five times a
week in the House of Lords till seven or eight o'clock. He was never
ill when he would remain in the House of Commons till two in the
morning, and not have a decent dinner above twice in the week. The
load I speak of isn't work."

"What is it then?" said the Duke, who in truth understood it all
nearly as well as the Duchess herself.

"It is hard to explain, but it is very heavy."

"Responsibility, my dear, will always be heavy."

"But it is hardly that;--certainly not that alone. It is the feeling
that so many people blame him for so many things, and the doubt in
his own mind whether he may not deserve it. And then he becomes
fretful, and conscious that such fretfulness is beneath him and
injurious to his honour. He condemns men in his mind, and condemns
himself for condescending to condemn them. He spends one quarter of
an hour in thinking that as he is Prime Minister he will be Prime
Minister down to his fingers' ends, and the next in resolving that he
never ought to have been Prime Minister at all." Here something like
a frown passed across the old man's brow, which was, however, no
indication, of anger. "Dear Duke," she said, "you must not be angry
with me. Who is there to whom I can speak but you?"

"Angry, my dear! No, indeed!"

"Because you looked as though you would scold me." At this he smiled.
"And of course all this tells upon his health."

"Do you think he is ill?"

"He never says so. There is no special illness. But he is thin and
wan and careworn. He does not eat and he does not sleep. Of course I
watch him."

"Does his doctor see him?"

"Never. When I asked him once to say a w