her by Silverkoop; if he had not been so fond of
Rhenish and sugar, he never would have died; and Mrs. Silverkoop would
have been neither rich nor a widow, nor a wife to Count von Galgenstein.
Nay, nor would this history have ever been written; for if Count
Galgenstein had not married the rich widow, Mrs. Catherine would never
have--

Oh, my dear madam! you thought we were going to tell you. Pooh!
nonsense!--no such thing! not for two or three and seventy pages or
so,--when, perhaps, you MAY know what Mrs. Catherine never would have
done.

The reader will remember, in the second chapter of these Memoirs, the
announcement that Mrs. Catherine had given to the world a child, who
might bear, if he chose, the arms of Galgenstein, with the further
adornment of a bar-sinister. This child had been put out to nurse some
time before its mother's elopement from the Count; and as that nobleman
was in funds at the time (having had that success at play which we duly
chronicled), he paid a sum of no less than twenty guineas, which was to
be the yearly reward of the nurse into whose charge the boy was put. The
woman grew fond of the brat; and when, after the first year, she had no
further news or remittances from father or mother, she determined, for
a while at least, to maintain the infant at her own expense; for, when
rebuked by her neighbours on this score, she stoutly swore that no
parents could ever desert their children, and that some day or other she
should not fail to be rewarded for her trouble with this one.

Under this strange mental hallucination poor Goody Billings, who had
five children and a husband of her own, continued to give food and
shelter to little Tom for a period of no less than seven years; and
though it must be acknowledged that the young gentleman did not in the
slightest degree merit the kindnesses shown to him, Goody Billings, who
was of a very soft and pitiful disposition, continued to bestow them
upon him: because, she said, he was lonely and unprotected, and deserved
them more than other children who had fathers and mothers to look after
them. If, then, any difference was made between Tom's treatment and that
of her own brood, it was considerably in favour of the former; to whom
the largest proportions of treacle were allotted for his bread, and
the handsomest supplies of hasty pudding. Besides, to do Mrs. Billings
justice, there WAS a party against him; and that consisted not only of
her husband and