The Project Gutenberg EBook of Dreams, by Jerome K. Jerome

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Title: Dreams
From a volume entitled "Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow"

Author: Jerome K. Jerome

Posting Date: July 26, 2008 [EBook #856]
Release Date: March 1997

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DREAMS ***

Produced by Ron Burkey, and Amy Thomte

DREAMS

By Jerome K. Jerome

The most extraordinary dream I ever had was one in which I fancied that,
as I was going into a theater, the cloak-room attendant stopped me in
the lobby and insisted on my leaving my legs behind me.

I was not surprised; indeed, my acquaintanceship with theater harpies
would prevent my feeling any surprise at such a demand, even in my
waking moments; but I was, I must honestly confess, considerably
annoyed. It was not the payment of the cloak-room fee that I so much
minded--I offered to give that to the man then and there. It was the
parting with my legs that I objected to.

I said I had never heard of such a rule being attempted to be put in
force at any respectable theater before, and that I considered it a most
absurd and vexatious regulation. I also said I should write to The Times
about it.

The man replied that he was very sorry, but that those were his
instructions. People complained that they could not get to and from
their seats comfortably, because other people's legs were always in
the way; and it had, therefore, been decided that, in future, everybody
should leave their legs outside.

It seemed to me that the management, in making this order, had clearly
gone beyond their legal right; and, under ordinary circumstances, I
should have disputed it. Being present, however, more in the
character of a guest than in that of a patron, I hardly like to make a
disturbance; and so I sat down and meekly prepared to comply with the
demand.

I had never before known that the human leg did unscrew. I had always
thought it was a fixture. But the man showed me how to undo them, and I
found that they came off quite easily.

The discovery did not surprise me any more than the original request
that I should take them off had done. Nothing does