om us much more by
our occasional voluntary grants and contributions than ever she could
by taxes. Sensible people will give a bucket or two of water to a dry
pump, that they may afterwards get from it all they have occasion for.
Her ministry were deficient in that little point of common-sense; and
so they spent one hundred millions of her money and after all lost
what they contended for.

REVENGE

LETTER TO MADAME HELVETIUS

Mortified at the barbarous resolution pronounced by you so positively
yesterday evening,--that you would remain single the rest of your
life, as a compliment due to the memory of your husband,--I retired to
my chamber. Throwing myself upon my bed, I dreamt that I was dead, and
was transported to the Elysian Fields.

I was asked whether I wished to see any persons in particular; to
which I replied that I wished to see the philosophers.--"There are two
who live here at hand in this garden; they are good neighbors, and
very friendly towards one another."--"Who are they?"--"Socrates and
Helvetius."--"I esteem them both highly; but let me see Helvetius
first, because I understand a little French, but not a word of Greek."
I was conducted to him: he received me with much courtesy, having
known me, he said, by character, some time past. He asked me a
thousand questions relative to the war, the present state of religion,
of liberty, of the government in France. "You do not inquire, then,"
said I, "after your dear friend, Madame Helvetius; yet she loves you
exceedingly: I was in her company not more than an hour ago." "Ah,"
said he, "you make me recur to my past happiness, which ought to be
forgotten in order to be happy here. For many years I could think of
nothing but her, though at length I am consoled. I have taken another
wife, the most like her that I could find; she is not indeed
altogether so handsome, but she has a great fund of wit and good
sense; and her whole study is to please me. She is at this moment gone
to fetch the best nectar and ambrosia to regale me; stay here awhile
and you will see her." "I perceive," said I, "that your former friend
is more faithful to you than you are to her; she has had several good
offers, but refused them all. I will confess to you that I loved her
extremely; but she was cruel to me, and rejected me peremptorily for
your sake." "I pity you sincerely," said he, "for she is an excellent
woman, handsome and amiable. But do not the Abbe de la Roche and t