made, and 'larding the lean earth,'
like another Falstaff almost? Nay, the very words, 'Come let me wipe thy
face,' are addressed by Doll Tearsheet to Falstaff, when he was heated by
his pursuit of Pistol:--'Alas, poor ape, how thou sweatest! Come, let me
wipe thy face.' Hem!" (quoth Mr. Henry Augustus Constantine Stubbs) "I
have done--and pause for a reply."

"You'll be horribly laughed at," said McCrab, "if you do make Hamlet a
fat little fellow."

"Shall I?" exclaimed Stubbs, with a contented chuckle, and rubbing his
hands "shall I be horribly laughed at?"

"Ay," replied McCrab, "and gloriously gibbetted the next day, in all the
papers, for your Sancho Panza exhibition."

"Pooh!" ejaculated Stubbs, "pooh! pooh! what care I for the rascally
papers? Don't I know what sort of critics they are who guide the public
taste, and fulminate their mighty WE in the columns of a newspaper."

(_To be concluded in our next._)

* * * * *

LONDON LYRICS.

THE AUCTIONEER'S ODE TO MERCURY.

_Air.--A German Bravura._

Hermes, god of cheats and chatter,
Wave thy smooth caduceus here--
Now that, pulpit-propp'd, I flatter;
Hermes, god of cheats and chatter,
Smile, oh smile on Mr. Smatter,
Aid an humble Auctioneer!
Wave thy smooth caduceus here,
O'er an humble Auctioneer!
With its virtues tip my hammer,
Model my Grammar,
Nor let me stammer.

First, here's Sackbut's Song of Slaughter;
Verse and prose, the Laureat Otter,
Floats along, diluting song
In milk and water.
Next (who'll buy?) here's Love in Little,
Smooth as glass and eke as brittle;
Here are posies, lilies, roses,
Cupid's slumbers--out in numbers,
Pouting, fretting, fly-not-yetting,
Rosa's lip and Rosa's sign--
For one pound six--who'll buy, who'll buy?
Here's Doctor Aikin, Sims on Baking,
Booth in Cato quoting Plato,
Jacob Tonson, Doctor Johnson,
Russia binding, touch and try--
Nothing bid--who'll buy, who'll buy?
Here's Mr. Hayley, Doctor Paley,
Arthur Murphy, Tommy Durfey,
Mrs. Trimmer's little Primer,
Buckram binding, touch and try--
Nothing bid--who'll buy, who'll buy?
Here's Colley Cibber, Bruce the fibber,
Plays of Cherry, ditto Merry,
Tickle, Mickle,
When I bow and when I wriggle,
With a simper and a giggle,
Ears regaling, bidders nailing,
Ladies utter in a flutter--
"Mister Smatter, how you chatter,
Dear, how cle