knight, and may it please your judgeship, my name is
Patteson."

"Very likely," says father, "and my name is More, but what is that to
the purpose?"

"And that is _more_ to the purpose, you mighte have said," returned the
other.

"Why, soe I mighte," says father, "but how shoulde I have proved it?"

"You who are a lawyer shoulde know best about that," rejoyned the poor
knave; "'tis too hard for poor Patteson."

"Well, but who are you?" says father, "and what do you want of me?"

"Don't you mind me?" says Patteson; "I played Hold-your-tongue, last
Christmasse revel was five years, and they called me a smart chap then,
but last Martinmasse I fell from y^e church steeple, and shook my
brain-pan, I think, for its contents have seemed addled ever since; soe
what I want now is to be made a fool."

"Then you are not one now?" says father.

"If I were," says Patteson, "I shoulde not have come to _you_."

"Why, like cleaves to like, you know they say," says father.

"Aye," says 'tother, "but I've reason and feeling enow, too, to know you
are no fool, though I thoughte you might want one. Great people like 'em
at their tables, I've hearde say, though I am sure I can't guesse why,
for it makes me sad to see fools laughed at; ne'erthelesse, as I get
laughed at alreadie, methinketh I may as well get paid for the job if I
can, being unable, now, to doe a stroke of work in hot weather. And I'm
the onlie son of my mother, and she is a widow. But perhaps I'm not bad
enough."

"I know not that, poor knave," says father, touched with quick pity,
"and, for those that laugh at fools, my opinion, Patteson, is, that they
are the greater fools who laugh. To tell you the truth, I had had noe
mind to take a fool into mine establishment, having always had a fancy
to be prime fooler in it myselfe; however, you incline me to change my
purpose, for, as I said anon, like cleaves to like, soe I'll tell you
what we will doe--divide the businesse and goe halves--I continuing the
fooling, and thou receiving the salary; that is, if I find, on inquiry,
thou art given to noe vice, including that of scurrillitie."

"May it like your goodness," says poor Patteson, "I've been the subject,
oft, of scurrillitie, and affect it too little to offend that way
myself. I ever keep a civil tongue in my head, 'specially among young
ladies."

"That minds me," says father, "of a butler who sayd he always was sober,
especially when he had cold water to dri