smart ordering of things in the army in those days, the men not having
the beef served out to them by a butcher, supplying each company or
companies by a written contract, drawn up between him and the paymaster
before 'sponsible witnesses; but ilka ane bringing what pleased him,
either tripe, trotters, steaks, cow's-cheek, pluck, hough, spar-rib,
jigget, or so forth."

"'Od!" said I, "Thomas, ye crack like a minister. Where did ye happen to
pick up all that knowledge?"

"Where should I have got it, but from an auld half-pay sergeant-major,
that lived in our spare room, and had been out in the American war,
having seen a power of service, and been twice wounded, once in the
aff-cuit, and the other time in the cuff of the neck."

"I thought as muckle," said I--"Weel, say on, man, it's unco
entertaining."

"Weel," continued he, "let me see where I was at when ye stoppit me; for
maybe I'll hae to begin at the beginning again. For gif ye yinterrupt
me, or edge in a word, or put me out by asking questions, I lose the
thread of my discourse, and canna proceed."

"Ou, let me see," said I, "ye was about the contract concerning the
beef."

"Preceesely," quo' Thomas, stretching out his fore-finger--"ye've said it
to a hair. At that time, as I was observing, the butcher didna supply a
company or companies, according to the terms of a contract, drawn up
before 'sponsible witnesses, between him and the paymaster; but the
soldiers got beef-money along with their pay; with which said money,
given them, ye observe, for said purpose, they were bound and obligated,
in terms of the statute, to buy, purchase, and provide the said beef,
twice a-week or oftener, as it might happen; an orderly offisher making
inspection of the camp-kettles regularly every forenoon at one o'clock or
thereabouts.

"So, as ye'll pay attention to observe, there was a private in Captain
M'Tavish's company, the second to the left of the centre, of the name of
Duncan MacAlpine, a wee, hardy, blackaviced, in-knee'd creature,
remarkable for nothing that ever I heard tell of, except being reported
to have shotten a gauger in Badenough, or thereabouts; and for having a
desperate red nose, the effects, ye observe, of drinking spirituous
liquors; ye observe, I daur say, what I am saying--the effects of
drinking malt speerits.

"Weel, week after week passed over, and better passed over, and Duncan
played aff his tricks, like anither Herman Boaz, the slight o'-