could spare neither the bullock nor the Dutchman; and the ship's
carpenter, that traditional first aid to the famished, was a mere bag of
bones. The fish would neither bite nor be bitten. Most of the
running-tackle of the ship had been used for macaroni soup; all the
leather work, our shoes included, had been devoured in omelettes; with
oakum and tar we had made fairly supportable salad. After a brief
experimental career as tripe the sails had departed this life forever.
Only two courses remained from which to choose; we could eat one
another, as is the etiquette of the sea, or partake of Captain
Abersouth's novels. Dreadful alternative!--but a choice. And it is
seldom, I think, that starving sailormen are offered a shipload of the
best popular authors ready-roasted by the critics.

We ate that fiction. The works that the captain had thrown aside lasted
six months, for most of them were by the best-selling authors and were
pretty tough. After they were gone--of course some had to be given to
the bullock and the Dutchman--we stood by the captain, taking the other
books from his hands as he finished them. Sometimes, when we were
apparently at our last gasp, he would skip a whole page of moralizing,
or a bit of description; and always, as soon as he clearly foresaw the
_denouement_--which he generally did at about the middle of the second
volume--the work was handed over to us without a word of repining.

The effect of this diet was not unpleasant but remarkable. Physically,
it sustained us; mentally, it exalted us; morally, it made us but a
trifle worse than we were. We talked as no human beings ever talked
before. Our wit was polished but without point. As in a stage broadsword
combat, every cut has its parry, so in our conversation every remark
suggested the reply, and this necessitated a certain rejoinder. The
sequence once interrupted, the whole was bosh; when the thread was
broken the beads were seen to be waxen and hollow.

We made love to one another, and plotted darkly in the deepest obscurity
of the hold. Each set of conspirators had its proper listener at the
hatch. These, leaning too far over would bump their heads together and
fight. Occasionally there was confusion amongst them: two or more would
assert a right to overhear the same plot. I remember at one time the
cook, the carpenter, the second assistant-surgeon, and an able seaman
contended with handspikes for the honor of betraying my confidence. Once
th