d the old pet Bear
His sire and grandsire had so cherished,
Till the old policy had perished
With Wilful WILHELM, who preferred
The Eagles. With a pole he stirred
Big Bruin up. "Oh, _I_'ll surprise him!
And, if he growls, I'll 'pulverise' him."
Some thought that picking rows with Bruin
Meant folly, if it did not ruin;
But when they whispered words of warning,
Then Wilful WILHELM, counsel scorning,
Shrieked, "Take the nasty brute away!
I won't have any Bears to-day!"

Now, WILHELM, do not be absurd,
But listen to a friendly word!
You are a clever boy, no doubt,
And very smart, and very stout,
Like young AUGUSTUS, dainty eater,
Whose story is in _Struwwelpeter_.
Did'st ever read those truthful stories,
Good Dr. HEINRICH HOFFMANN's glories,
Which round the world have travelled gaily,
By Nursery pets consulted daily?
If not, just get "Shock-headed PETER";
Read of AUGUSTUS, the soup-eater,
And stuck-up "JOHNNY Head-in-Air,"
Who came down "bump" all unaware.
And "Fidgety PHILIP." You'll confess them
Pointed,--and don't try to suppress them,
Like Princes, party-men and papers
Which can't admire _all_ your mad capers!
My Wilful WILHELM, you'll not win
By dint of mere despotic din;
By kicking everybody over
In whom a critic you discover,
Or shouting in your furious way,
"Oh, take the nasty _Punch_ away!
I won't have any _Punch_ to-day!"

* * * * *

WHAT THE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF, MR. PUNCH, SAYS TO THE ARTISTS'
CORPS.--"Gentlemen, you would no doubt like a brush with the enemy, to
whom you will always show a full face. Any colourable pretence for
a skirmish won't suit your palette. You march with the colours, and,
like the oils, you will never run.' You all look perfect pictures, and
everybody must admire your well-knit frames. Gentlemen, I do not know
whether you will take my concluding observation as a compliment or
not, but I need hardly say that it is meant to be both truthful and
complimentary, and it is this, that though you are all Artists, you
look perfect models,"

* * * * *

[Illustration: CONSCIENTIOUS.

_Mr. Boozle_ (_soliloquises_). "MY MEDICAL MAN TOLD ME NEVER ON ANY
ACCOUNT TO MIX MY WINES. SO I'LL FINISH THE CHAMPAGNE FIRST, AND
_THEN_ TACKLE THE CLARET!"]

* * * * *

"BUTCHER'D TO MAKE--."

[On Monday the 14th a "lion-