SCENE--_Garden of the Hotel Victoria at Bingen, commanding
a view of the Rhine and the vine-terraced hills, which
are bathed in warm afternoon sunlight. Under the mopheaded
acacias, CULCHARD and PODBURY are sitting smoking. At a
little distance from them, are a Young Married Couple, whose
honeymoon is apparently in its last quarter._

_The Bridegroom_ (_lazily, to Bride, as she draws another chair
towards her for a foot-rest_). How many _more_ chairs do you want?

_Bride_ (_without looking at him_). I should think you could spare me
one--you can hardly sit on three at once!

[_After this interchange of amenities, they consider
themselves absolved from any further conversational efforts._

_Podb._ (_to CULCH., resuming a discussion_). I know as well as you
do that we are booked for Nuremberg; but what _I_ say is--that's no
earthly reason why we should _go_ there!

_Culch._ No reason why _you_ should go, unless you wish it, certainly.
_I_ intend to go.

_Podb._ Well, it's beastly selfish, that's all! I know _why_ you're so
keen about it, too. Because the TROTTERS are going.

_Culch._ (_colouring_). That's an entire mistake on your part. Miss
TROTTER has nothing to do with it. I don't even know whether she's
going or not--for certain.

_Podb._ No, but you've a pretty good idea that she _is_, though. And
I _know_ how it will be. You'll be going about with her all the time,
and I shall be shunted on to the old man! I don't _see_ it, you know!
(_CULCH. remains silent. A pause. PODBURY suddenly begins to search
his pockets_.) I say--here's a pretty fix! Look here, old fellow,
doosid annoying thing, but I can't find my purse--must have lost it
somewhere!

_Culch._ (_stoically_). I can't say I'm surprised to hear it. It's
awkward, certainly. I suppose I shall have to lend you enough to go
home with--it's all I can do; but I'll do that with--er--pleasure.

_Podb._ (_staring_). Go home? Why, I can wire to the governor for
more, easily enough. We shall have to stay here till it comes, that's
all.

_Culch._ And give up Nuremberg? Thank you!

_Podb._ I rather like this place, you know--sort of rest. And we could
always nip over to Ems, or Homburg, if it got too slow, eh?

[Illustration: "Good Heavens, It--It's gone!"]

_Culch._ If I nip over anywhere, I shall nip to Nuremberg. We may
just as well understand one another, PODBURY. If I'm to provide money
for both of us, it's only reas