d at him
almost pityingly. How little, oh, how little, she said to herself, one
mortal knew and could know of another, in spite of the medium of
speech, in spite of common experiences! Some of the nights at the
beginning of Ephie's illness returned vividly to her mind, nights, when
she, Johanna, had paced her room by the hour, filled with a terrible
dread, a numbing uncertainty, which she would sooner have died than
have let cross her lips. She had borne it quite alone, this horrible
fear; her mother had been told of the whole affair only what it was
absolutely necessary for her to know. And, naturally enough, the young
man who now sat at her side, being a man, could not be expected to
understand. But the consciousness of her isolation made Johanna speak
with renewed harshness.

"Too seriously?" she repeated. "Oh, I think not. The girlish escapade,
as you call it, was the least of it. If that had been all, if it had
only been her infatuation for some one who was unworthy of her, I could
have forgiven Ephie till seventy times seven. But, after all these
years, after the way I have loved her--no, idolised her!--for her to
treat me as she did--do you think it possible to take that too
seriously? There was no reason she should not have had her little
secrets. If she had let me see that something was going on, which she
did not want to tell me about, do you think I should have forced
her?"--and Johanna spoke in all good faith, forgetful of how she had
been used to clip and doctor Ephie's sentiments. "But that she could
deceive me wilfully, and lie so lightly, with a smile, when, all the
time, she was living a double life, one to my face and one behind my
back--that I cannot forgive. Something has died in me that I used to
feel for her. I could never trust her again, and where there is no
trust there can be no real love."

"She didn't understand what she was doing. She is so young."

"Just for that reason. So young, and so skilled in deceit. That is
hardest of all, even to think of: that she could wear her dear innocent
face, while behind it, in her brain, were cold, calculating thoughts
how she could best deceive me! If there had been but a single sign to
waken my suspicions, then, yes, then I could have forgiven her," said
Johanna, and again forgot how often of late she had been puzzled by the
subtle change in Ephie. "If I could just know that, in spite of her
efforts, she had been too candid to succeed!"

She had unbu