truly love another, the more thoroughly we respect that other's
individuality.

The other so-called love is only love of possession and love of having
our own way. It is not really love at all; it is sugar-coated tyranny.
And when one sugar-coated tyrant' antagonizes herself against another
sugar-coated tyrant the strain is severe indeed, and nothing good is
ever accomplished.

The Roman infantry fought with a fixed amount of space about each
soldier, and found that the greater freedom of individual activity
enabled them to fight better and to conquer their foes. This symbolizes
happily the process of getting people off our nerves. Let us give each
one a wide margin and thus preserve a good margin for ourselves.

We rub up against other people's nerves by getting too near to
them--not too near to their real selves, but too near, so to speak, to
their nervous systems. There have been quarrels between good people
just because one phase of nervous irritability roused another. Let
things in other people go until you have entirely dropped your strain
about them--then it will be clear enough what to do and what to say, or
what not to do and what not to say. People in the world cannot get on
our nerves unless we allow them to do so.

CHAPTER V

_The Trying Member of the Family_

"TOMMY, don't do that. You know it annoys your grandfather."

"Well, why should he be annoyed? I am doing nothing wrong."

"I know that, and it hurts me to ask you, but you know how he will feel
if he sees you doing it, and you know that troubles me."

Reluctantly and sullenly Tommy stopped. Tommy's mother looked strained
and worried and discontented. Tommy had an expression on his face akin
to that of a smouldering volcano.

If any one had taken a good look at the grandfather it would have been
very clear that Tommy was his own grandson, and that the old man and
the child were acting and reacting upon one another in a way that was
harmful to both; although the injury was, of course, worse to the
child, for the grandfather had toughened. The grandfather thought he
loved his little grandson, and the grandson, at times, would not have
acknowledged that he did not love his grandfather. At other times, with
childish frankness, he said he "hated him."

But the worst of this situation was that although the mother loved her
son, and loved her father, and sincerely thought that she was the
family peacemaker, she was all the time fanning th